See You Later, Original Sin

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I've never been one for traditions -- so much so that I've been accused of being devoid of sentimentality. I read cards and then throw them away. I purge my daughter's wardrobe regularly, barely taking time for one last sniff and face rub before I toss it in the Goodwill box.

And so a Christening is pushing it for me.

But I've also never been one to deprive someone else out of something they feel strongly about if it means a lot to them and doesn't aversely affect my beliefs or personhood -- the mother/son dance to Celene Dion at my wedding (I nursed in the bathroom with ear plugs) and even allowing my daughter (and now son) to be baptised with holy water (hey, it's water, not turpentine, right?).

I don't believe in original sin, or necessarily in any prayers that are said and any blessings that are made. But I do love the idea of what a Christening, Baptism, Bris, or Dedication represents.

My intention is not to make a mockery of religion by standing there and saying "we do" to questions that involve me raising my child in a religious household. It bothers me, just a bit, to say words that I don't mean or sign the cross when I just don't think it's necessary. But yet, instead of outrightly refusing to go through with the Christening, I dress my little feverish boy in his little white short suit and dip his perfectly round head in a big bowl of water because when you peel away all the words and readings, it's asking us to be good and honest parents to our son. And there's something beautiful and fulfilling to say that out loud.

Today I proclaimed to my son, a little person and not this creature or parasite (a cute size-3 diaper wearing one, of course) who takes up every inch of my existence and can make me frustrated, thankful, and annoyed all in the matter of 5 minutes, that I will do my best to be his best mother. And as I held him over the bowl of water, his sweet face and piercing smile looking up at me, I was reminded of the joy I felt when I found out I was pregnant and stayed pregnant (after two miscarriages) until I saw him in my arms for the first time. And it is that joy that I wanted to share with my friends and family -- through this ritual and his party.

I suppose I don't need to stand up in my Sunday best or buy a vanilla cross cake to remember all that. But putting aside all the Bible verses, smelly oils, and very long prayers, we are celebrating my son's new life. And if this is how we decide to celebrate his "official" presence into our family and our world, then so be it. I may roll my eyes at the formalities, but inside I'm glad that I'm not the only one that's rejoicing over his presence.

And if the Father wants to put in a good word for him, I can't imagine it will hurt. We've got a lot more time to fuck up as parents -- might as well start him off on the right foot.

Comments

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[Cindy]

Hi. Like your blog. We have 20-month old twin girls adopted from China. Their baptism is next month. I feel the same way you do...the original sin thing is pretty bizarre-o but the ritual and the official welcoming and the party and family and friends all coming together is a great launch-off for all of us--not just our girls.

[Cindy]

Hi. Like your blog. We have 20-month old twin girls adopted from China. Their baptism is next month. I feel the same way you do...the original sin thing is pretty bizarre-o but the ritual and the official welcoming and the party and family and friends all coming together is a great launch-off for all of us--not just our girls.

[Kira]

I've been thinking about this post for a while, trying to put into words how I feel about it. And although I'm a church-goer and thereby irrelevant (according to an earlier commenter), I have to tell you that I'm bothered.
I would never ask or expect you to agree with my beliefs. However, baptism is a sacrament to me. Not a nice statement or a sweet thing to do, a cornerstone expression of my belief. You're obviously free to reject my belief system, but why do you need to borrow something that means so much to me, and treat it with disrespect?
I think the idea of having a welcome ceremony for your son is a lovely one. Why can't you create one in harmony with your own beliefs?

[Girl con Queso]

I think this post is beautiful.

[Jennifer]

I had trouble reading after I saw SIZE 3 diapers! Wow!

Well said.

[Beth]

I just have to say that I love your layout =) Very kickass

[Steph]

I'm relieved to see I wasn't the only one attending the christening with crossed fingers behind my back at the God stuff. It was important to mu husband and his family, so it was important to me. And it was nice.

[Chris]

Great post and well said!

[BOSSY]

Bossy likes when things are christened with champagne bottles - broken against the side of ships and such.

[motherofbun]

Wow. We think alot alike.

I felt like you -- that I couldn't stand there and make promises I didn't mean. So my son wasn't baptized. But now I'm wishing I would have seen "the big picture" and gone through with it anyway...

Well done.

[MamaMichelsBabies]

It's a beautiful way to look at it.. not cleaning sin, but celebrating his life and his entrance into the world.

I wish I'd have had that kind of insight into the religious side of my in laws wishes when it was happening, it would have been a lot smoother.

Great Post.

[mothergoosemouse]

Great perspective. And a great example of how you are a kind and generous daughter-in-law.

[Damselfly]

Aw, that's great. And bless you and your family, if you don't mind me saying.

Size 3 diapers already?!

[krista]

Sometimes I think I like you so much because of how very different we are.

[Mrs. Q.]

Despite what some church-goers may think (and who cares, really?) I think your reasons for baptising are very similiar to what I experienced. I also disagree with the idea of original sin, but rather see baptism as a sweet way to welcome your child into the church and acknowledge a sense of spirituality. I don't think I ever really believed in God until I looked into the face of my baby, so despite how I may disagree with doctrine or screw up the teachings, I was happy to share in this tradition. I wish the church didn't make it such a p.i.t.a. though...

[Dawn]

Kristen, I swear that sometimes I think we're twins. I, however, haven't gone through with even the formality because I didn't look at it like you did, and now I'm kinda sorry I didn't. And, Amy, I too am a godparent and snickered through the whole thing, but was honored to be asked anyways. (I kept waiting for the church to fall in on me, though LOL)

Kristen, as usual, a wonderful post :) Is he really in size 3 diapers already?

[mayberry]

It's a beautiful way to look at it -- congratulations.

[Amy]

Nicely put! I was just involved in a Baptism (became a Godmother) and I am Atheist. It's truly an honour to be recognized as part of that baby's life, and the ceremony meant a lot to the parents. For me to stand there and say the words, meant a lot to them to (although I believe we all snickered under our breath the whole time). I did it out of Respect, and mean no harm whatsoever. I think it's a great way to celebrate a life!

[Mom101]

I think it's really wonderful that you can extract the positive aspects of the ceremony that speak to you, even if the others aren't quite your thang.

And seriously, as far as vanilla cake, it could be in the shape of Karl Rove's ass and it would still taste good. Ok, maybe not that.

[the new girl]

He looked so fresh and squeaky clean yesterday, with all that original sin wiped off. lol.

I'm with you on it all. Especially the 'he's cute' part.

Plus, I actually like the smell of those oils--it takes me right back to my own childhood.

[amanda]

So nice to start the week off realizing that maybe my sreamin' quasi heathen ways are maybe kind of shared by other (gas) moms.

Amen sister.