I Do Not Like That Spam I Am
I'm what you call the Spam Sleuth. That's right. I can sniff it out and send it to my spam box before you can say "hott sexxx big pennisss."
Okay. So any fool could be a spam sniffer. With emails from "Alysiz Marquez III" and subjects like "hardd buttox fuckking," I'm pretty sure my mother-in-law, the opener of any and all emails, could spy those. But have you noticed their latest tactics?
They're getting pretty damn good.
The first indication was when I was actually laughing at them in a weird "I'm kind of interested in what you have to say" sort of way.
Subject: "Are you tired of not getting any sex?"
YES. Yes, I am, Joenelson Lanquisas.
Click.
Sucker. Okay. So the name was still a dead giveaway.
But then I started getting the ones that make you think it's a reply to an email you sent to someone that you might possibly know, even though there's no chance in hell, unless you were on Flavor Flav's show, that you might know these ladies.
Subject: RE: Hi
Oh shit. Did I send an email to Ladonna "Chi-Chi" Celabros?
Click.
Damnit. I should have known better.
So the most recent email that I received is pure genius, so much so that I'm telling you about it.
Subject: Check this out (not spam)
Cool! It's not spam. Spammers don't lie. So it must be cool. I should check it out.
Click.
Sunuvabitch. Totally spam. Those bastards.
And so, I'm afraid of what they'll think of next. Where are they finding these spammers? Princeton? Harvard? Is there a Spam 101 class? A Bachelor's of Spam?
I bet they'll start hiring my friends to spam me.
Oh wait. Some of them already do.
This is some reliable material. It took me some time to unearth this web page but it was worth the time. I noticed this page was hidden in yahoo and not the first spot. This website has a lot of good quality stuff and it doesn’t deserve to be burried in the search engines like that. By the way I am going to add this web publication to my favorites.
http://www.bestquinceanera.com
Posted by: bridesmaiddresses | April 13, 2011 at 09:43 PM
I always get suckered by the ones where the subject line is "Hey", like it should be someone I know...so I click on it and the message is, "Want bigger penis?"
Umm.....no....not today, thank you.
Posted by: Sarah | March 28, 2007 at 07:55 AM
I honestly thought you were talking about SPAM as in the thing some people eat, when I read the first sentence! ha. I'm such a loser.
Posted by: Dana | March 26, 2007 at 03:43 PM
ya, hate those too.
Posted by: Rhiannon huang | March 25, 2007 at 12:31 PM
My sister, Ladonna "Chi-Chi" Celabros, was very upset about you ignoring her email.
Posted by: creative-type dad | March 25, 2007 at 12:07 AM
***This Message Has Been Sent to the Spam Folder***
Posted by: jaelithe | March 24, 2007 at 11:39 PM
Yeah... I just don't see how these people sleep at night, you know? They might as well be spreading toxic waste on the Great Barrier Reef.
Those and the phone calls... you know *those* phone calls... the ones from entire cities (Caller ID says: Grand Rapids, MI or somewhere in FL, etc).
Sadly, lately the spam calls have been from the State Troopers Association. They don't seem to understand that "I'm a broke college student" actually means "I'm a broke college student." *sigh*
Posted by: Amanda | March 24, 2007 at 08:36 PM
I just got one today with the subject "In response to your email".
damn, that almost worked, too.
Posted by: margalit | March 24, 2007 at 06:18 PM
I just got a spam with the subject line: I'd like to write to you.
And stupid me, thought, sure, I can always use another email buddy. So, click.
Turns out, he was less interested in writing to me than in selling me products to er, click my mouse.
If you get my meaning. Wink, wink.
Posted by: Redneck Mommy | March 24, 2007 at 02:52 PM
I recently got suckered by spam that had my son's name as the subject. I don't know how they do that...
Posted by: Crystal | March 24, 2007 at 01:33 PM
I got suckered by someone with a name similar to a guy I used to date. I think everyone has dated a Jonathan Meyer once, right? Crap.
Posted by: NaechsteHaltestelle | March 24, 2007 at 01:16 PM
LOL!
Posted by: Leah | March 24, 2007 at 11:40 AM
They are called Spam-entists...its a new kind of science degree. You have to be extremely annoying to qualify for the graduate program, prior telemarketing experience is an asset. *lol*
Posted by: Kyla | March 24, 2007 at 10:59 AM
oooh. I used to get suckered by "Hi" too. And also "About that report you sent us."
I don't have word verification on my site, so I get lots of interesting spamments. Many, many anon's who think "Hey! Great Site! Click here for hot underage teen sex pics."
Posted by: joy | March 24, 2007 at 09:26 AM
lmao.
I can't be totally sure, but if you're clicking on email from Laquita 'Ki-Ki' Lorenzanos, regardless of the subject...
I'd have to say that you're probably not an actual spam sleuth.
Perhaps you just play one on the internet.
Posted by: the new girl | March 24, 2007 at 08:12 AM