This might be the most underdiscussed aspect of post-partum survival. Sure. You get no sleep, your boobs hurt, and you bleed for awhile. We all know that. But what about painful pooping and bleeding buttholes? Do they even mention this in "What to Expect?"
The unfortunate part of all of this is that my poop, at least according to Dr. Oz, is good. Great, healthy poop. But my poor little butthole that suffered greatly while I pushed my son out in a matter of minutes cannot handle even the healthiest of poop.
You know it's bad when you pray for constipation.
Please don't let me have to poop today.
And oh God. The dreaded double poop? It's almost enough to send me right over the edge.
I know I'm not alone. Well. At least I know of one other person going through the same stuff I've written about before. And while that's fairly reassuring, it would be really nice to know that I'm not the only one with stock in Preparation H, prunes, and Metamucil.
I've really tried it all. I've even resorted to sticking a towel in my mouth and biting down. But all that does is make my mouth all cottony and gross, which distracts from my sore butthole for all of 15 seconds.
With my daughter, I had to get a prescription for that steriod spray. Is it possible to be addicted to that?
"Post-partum woman checks into rehab for a steriod butt spray addiction."
Yeah. That will be me.
So. Anyone else out there in the same boat that is brave enough to come forward and share in my pain? And what do you do? How do you manage? (Granted, mine were okay for awhile, but the trauma of childbirth... PHEW).