I know I've written many a post about the challenges of motherhood.
Okay. More like the "knock-down-drag-me-down-a-road-half-naked-with-poop-on-my-hand" challenges of motherhood.
It's hard. It's not fun. It can suck. A LOT.
And for various reasons, I've taken it upon myself to share my crazy stories of motherhood with you. Maybe it's so you'll laugh and then I won't feel so bad. Or maybe it's because I have no shame. Or maybe it's because I want people to not be afraid when they feel like they can't do it, or that they suck, or that their kids hate them, or that they should have kept the condom ON.
You get my drift.
I'm not sure how to measure success as a parent. Maybe when they're 25 and they have a job and they don't live in your house and they don't have genital warts you've done well. You can brag to the neighbors "My kid makes his own money and he's STD free!"
Victory is mine!
But with a 2-year old? How do you know? Let's face it. No one's offering me a crown and sash (or anything remotely congratulatory) around these parts.
Certainly those moms with kids that run them ragged, climbing on chairs at 10 months and screaming bloody murder at the supermarket are doing their best just like the moms with a quiet kid who reads books and doesn't eat her playdough. And just because your 2-year-old can sing the National Anthem in Portuguese and mine can only eat her toe jam with her eyes closed says nothing about my parenting ability at this point in time (just that I might want to feed her real food).
For lack of anything more substantial, I think it's just a feeling you have. When you look at your kid for that split second and you realize she's alive, breathing, and smiling. And that everything you've done for however long you've been doing it has paid off. It's those moments that are sometimes fleeting and hard to catch that tell me YOU DONE GOOD.
So make sure you tell yourself the same, moms and dads.You'll be wiping shit off the walls soon enough. Enjoy those tiny moments in time (maybe when they're sleeping, alone, in their own room and bed, after you just read to them and didn't have to lay with them for 45 minutes until they fell asleep or they are pooping on the potty and you don't have to wipe gobs of poop of their stinky yet still cute little asses) where the world is telling you that you've done good too. Sure. It's nice to bask in the glory that is the community of tub-poopers, wrestler-like tantrum throwers, and sore vaginas.
But sometimes it's nice to hear "You're doing a great job with your kid," isn't it? Because there are no Perfect Parenting awards or ROFL mothering awards. It's just us writing our stories hoping that someone will relate and feel better about themselves, and in that, we'll feel pretty okay too.
This isn't an award, but you can certainly make someone feel really good by nominating them. Plus they can win prizes! Check it out.