One Last Stab from the Folks in MissAssippi

I went to deposit my savings check from my old Mississippi bank at my new PA bank the other day, and this is how they spelled my name:

KRISTON

Little do they know I could squash their whole entire state with my one ass cheek.

Or maybe they do...

Comments

[Jane]

Okay, I got you all. My name is Jane. Now just how simple can you get??? I've been Jan, Jean, and/or Joan. (One woman I know calls me Sue, because it also seems to be a generic name from that era and she doesn't really care.) My favorite was back in the day when I was trying to make it as a singer. I drove up to the auditorium where I was in a performance that night and the marquee had me listed as Jena. People really can be stupid. (Hello? Am I invisible?!)

[Megan/ Velveteen Mind]

Wow, I am soooo behind that I didn't realize that this post was from a year ago.

I need to go back to blog kindergarten. I think I dropped my brain somewhere around Jackson.

[Megan]

From a Mississippi girl (born in Illinois, thank you), I have to say we will miss you.

Now, I have to say, "How in the hell did I lose your blog?" I remember finding it forever ago and loving all of the MS smack talking, but then I seem to have lost it. It's not like I don't know who you are, either. I totally suck.

Just glad to have found you again. Now I'ma fixin' to learn up real good sum stuff 'bout Kriston. ;) Holla back, ya'll!

[wordgirl]

Unfortunately, we live in a society where knowing how to spell and pronounce someone's name is considered "optional". *sigh*

[Melissa]

Hell my own godmother can't spell my name right. Who the hell spells Melissa, Malysa?

[Mommy off the Record]

LOL. People are always spelling my name (Cristina) with an "h". It gets annoying after the same person does it six times. Kind makes me want to sit on them too.

[Mom101]

It's Mississippi.

You're lucky they didn't spell it Krystynne.

[Mocha]

I pretty much just spell it M-O-C-H-A all the time. Everyone else does, too. See what having a nickname that is also a delicious drink does? You should do that, too.

[Kathleen Marie]

My daughter had a baby girl two months ago. The social security administration is mentally deranged. She applied for a Social Security card. They spelled the baby's last name wrong. She got that straighten out and looked at her new card only to find that this time the first name was misspelled. I had her read your post and she smiled and said, she agreed that her ass could indeed squash the SS administration. Watchout!

[TB]

KRIS-TON. I like it. It sounds like you're a monster in a B-movie. Perhaps you SHOULD crush them with your ass-cheek.

[Elizabeth]

My husband's first name is Christopher, which is apparently one letter too many for most computer databases, so we get letters addressed to "Christophe". Which makes him sound like a gay hairdresser.

[cagey]

My first name is Kelli and yes, I have spent a lifetime spelling it for people. Which is why I had no hesitation giving my own progeny a name that HE will spend a lifetime spelling for people. Because that kind of crapola? Builds character, no?

[jaelithe]

As some of you may know, my blogging handle is in fact my real first name.

Yes, truly.

My maiden name is hard to spell-- it's German, and the immigration people changed the spelling when my ancestors moved to the U.S. to make it even more complicated than it already was. It has three silent letters.

Pause for a moment to imagine what just happened to Kristen happening 50% of the time someone writes your name on ANYTHING, for your entire life. Also imagine that only 4% of people you meet can manage to pronounce your whole name right on the first try.

I thought my situation would improve when I got married. Surely, I thought, my future husband's name will be easier to spell than mine!

It is. It is also spelled and pronounced in exactly the same way as a common FIRST name.

So now, every time I fill out a form, people tell me I put my first and last names in the wrong spot. And people constantly address me by my last name as my first name. Even at places, like doctor's offices, that I have visted several times before.

Often, when I correct them, they ARGUE with me.

*sigh*

So your misery brightened my day a bit, Kriston. Sorry about that ;)

[Lady M]

Good god. Perhaps Krystynne is how they expect it these days.

[karyn]

Am I the only person who is thinking of the episode of Friends... where Chandler discloses that his TV Guide comes addressed to "Ms. Chanandler Bong"?

I know my name has a Y instead of the usual E, but jeezalou. I've been Kathy, Karyl, Karly, and Corinne. I've been called Katie, Karrie, Kim and Karolyn.

People are just stupid. Or perhaps names are just so out of control (remember your Y post some time ago) that people just figure no spelling is too stupid anymore.

They are wrong,of course, but perhaps they think it.

[karyn]

Am I the only person who is thinking of the episode of Friends... where Chandler discloses that his TV Guide comes addressed to "Ms. Chanandler Bong"?

I know my name has a Y instead of the usual E, but jeezalou. I've been Kathy, Karyl, Karly, and Corinne. I've been called Katie, Karrie, Kim and Karolyn.

People are just stupid. Or perhaps names are just so out of control (remember your Y post some time ago) that people just figure no spelling is too stupid anymore.

They are wrong,of course, but perhaps they think it.

[Stacy]

It took me a few seconds to get the "ton" part. Ha, ha, ha, ha! I guess it struck you right away cause your hormonal and all. Hang in there sista!

[JChase]

My maiden name was "Mumma". Pronounced "Moo-Maw". But no one pronounced it that way. And you can only imagine the mispellings I got! ("Moo-moo" was one of the best...)

Now my last name is Chase...you'd think that would be simple right? Apparently not. One of the magazines I used to get gave me the lovely last name of "Chafe"! But the joke's on them. I now know exactly who they've sold my information to everytime I get a piece of mail to "Jennifer Chafe".

Gotta love it.

[Redneck mommy]

Sorry, I'm too busy giggling at your post and all the other commenters to actually think of something witty here.

I'll share a hideous secret with you. (Only because I am slightly intimidated by the power you wield with a single ass cheek.)

My middle name is Earlene. Can we say Redneck? Well, the school system couldn't read my mother's handwriting when she enrolled me into that highly efficient bureacracy so they couldn't read my first name as written. And they mistook the E for a G. So they renamed me Garlene.

It took my parents eight years (I was thirteen people!) before it was corrected. For eight years attendence was called and I had to explain I was Tanis and not Garlene.

But I'm not bitter. Not fucking at all.

[jacquie]

Needless to say I've spelt Jacquelyn/Jacquie all my life. My fave though was my maiden Milburn spelt Milbum.

[mamatulip]

I have a huge long Italian last name full of vowels and lowest-common denominator consonants, so I can relate to the misspelling aspect. But KRISTON? Makes you sound like a Transformer. More than meets the eye, baby.

[Melissa]

My maiden name is so often misspelled I won't even begin that discussion. (Hint: It's hyphenated. Thanks, parents.)

Anyway, I have been in a paper war with my mortgage company since July 2005. The point? Change the name on the mortgage from my mom's name to mine.

They finished it three days ago. They spelled my name: Melllisa. Do you know any Melissa's with *three 'l''s?

Natch, they received a phone call through my gritted teeth.

[Robyn]

Don't you just love that dedication to quality?

DH's Green Card came with his name spelled wrong. They transposed "ck" to "kc." When he finally found a live person to talk to about it, he was told he must have spelled it that way on the forms. Yeah, on 219 forms where his name appears approximately 1,298 times. Uh huh. But luckily, the INS is the epitome of efficiency. It only took reapplying for the Green Card, re-fingerprinting him, and 17 months to get the replacement for their mistake. And yes, we're still bitter. LOL

Hope the new digs are not too horrible. MY ILs visit once a year from England and having them in our house for 10 days is plenty for us. I can't imagine moving in.

[Lynsalyns]

My husband's name is Channing. Once he got a refund check from the Gap that spelled his name "Chanine." Then they insisted he was the one who spelled it that way.