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August 11, 2006

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Yes... they are right that going from 0-1 or 1-2 kids is hard. But it is the most rewarding thing ever. My girls are 4 & 1 (almost 2). We have a 3rd baby on the way. Yes, there are times that they fight (duh, people have disagreements & at 1 & 4, they sometimes fight to get their points across...) BUT, they love each other & are great kids. Nothing is better than seeing your kids hug & laugh & play together... so what if there are a few outbursts or fights from time to time.... that's part of life & what makes them (& us) stronger. We're excited about baby #3... & with 2 very different girls/personalities now, we wonder what personality we'll get next.... can't wait!!!

you are quite funny, but i can feel your pain! Im 18 weeks now, and I CAN'T WAIT TO CHANGE POOPIE DIAPERS and clean messes... and give baths, and get no sleep... dont let people irritate you... tell them to shut the hell up!

As a mom of 3 kids 18m and 15m apart respectively (so thats 3 months shy of 3 years apart for all), I can tell you, my least favorite comment was "you do know where those come from, right?".

Hang in there, it isn't as bad as people make it out to be!

One vote for the 2 under 3 camp. I have a 2 1/2 yr old and a 5 month old...there is nothing better. I wouldn't change it for anything and if I decide that I want more kids (which I think I do) I will most definitely plan for it to be the same. 2-2 1/2 yrs apart. The rewards are amazing and hearing C talk about how much she loves her baby brudder is like getting molten lava poured on my heart...it melts me.
Good luck to you...it's an incredible journey.

Oh, yes. At my baby shower, one of my friends kept coming up to me and saying, "I don't know if anyone's told you this, but..." Things like how little time I'll have for myself. How I won't be able to sit down for an entire meal. How a baby will put everything in the mouth. It started getting to me, even if she is a friend. I'm not a moron, after all. What was I going to respond? "Gasp! No time for myself! Tell me, what am I going to do? How do I get out of it? I'm so selfish that I *have* to have quality me-time!"

Hey! First time visitor here. I'm 23 weeks pregnant. I totally understand where you are coming from. If I get one more "knowing look" and the "parties over" speech, I might scream. I understand. I haven't lived under a rock my whole life. Babies cry. Babies are demanding. Babies give you no sleep. How about we talk about the great things about having a baby once in awhile?

We wanted to find out the sex of our first child, but even after 5 u/s the gender was still a mystery. My MIL was very upset about this and became very, very annoying. She even went so far as to tell me that even if we didn't find out, we should have the Dr. write it out and mail it to her so that she would know. My SIL, while not as annoying, also really, really wanted to know. Things got so tense that we ended up mailing two letters- one for SIL and one for MIL- letting them know the sex, even though we didn't know. Except on MIL's letter we told her it was a girl. On SIL's letter we told her it was a boy. Hahahahaha. So mean, but they deserved it. We really did want to know and eventually we did, we just had to wait for Fuller's birthday.

Congratulations on the pregnancy. I'm looking forward to the day we finally are pregnant with number two.

Yes, why DOES everyone think they should have a say in your progeny preparations? My husband and I don't have kids yet, and although I'm only thirty and we're planning to start in just a year, I'm already getting pressure because, by God, we've already been married three whole years and still haven't reproduced! And you should see people freak out when we say our kid will probably be an only child.

Adorable already! I am not sure if I could ever take the suspense of not knowing. But I admire people who can!

Rest easy! The second one is actually easier because you have figured out how to do it all with the first! That made such a difference to me anyway. And don't listen to those who say the 2nd is a hellion. My second was an angel. Still is too! Good luck and enjoy that bundle of love!

Sorry, I haven't read all the previous entries, so if I am redundant, I apologize. We had a 3D sonogram to find out the sex at 16 weeks. It only costs about a hundred bucks. Totally worth it!

I remember the weirdos who thought they could tell me by looking at me when I was going to go into labor and what the gender was. Cuckoo.

Two was hard for the second 6 months, I really wondered if I'd survive. But now they play together all the time, they take care of each other, they help me, and sometimes they try to kill each other too, but that's less frequent. After the 2nd year of two I had more time to myself than I've ever had since the first was born, so much so that I insanely went ahead and conceived number three. Now I have people telling me that 3 is the absolute hardest number but once I get to 4 it will be easy. UM...thanks?

I have 3 who were born within 2 and a half years of each other. It's the same hard work regardless of how far apart they are. I say go for the retort contest or the sock-stuffing ideas.
2 under 3? You are going to be so rewarded and happy.

People really say these things?Gah! I sometimes think folk need only the slightest excuse to prove how tactless they can be.

Anyway, best wishes always!

My boys are 15 1/2 months apart and not only was it fun, it was the only way to go.

Congrats on the limb.

Legs are good things to have!

I'm hoping to be in the unwanted advice camp within the year. ;)

The second is SOOOO easy because you know what your doing this time.... even so, it doesn't stop those pain in the ass in-laws from telling you what to do!

I had several miscarriages too. And they definitely seem to bring out the verbally incontinent. Or the verbally incoherent. Or both.

But most importantly, congrats!

And do what I did. Tell some people it's a boy and some it's a girl (we knew, I was just being mean), and watch the confusion ensue.

Um, my kids are a wee ten months apart. People STILL ask me if I owned TV. Major congrats on the pregnancy. Y know, I have no idea how to read those pics...to be it looks like a lipstick container?

I always tell 2nd time mommies that I found the transition from 1 to 2 much easier than the transition from no children to first-time parent. You've learned lots of tricks along the way. It will be awesome!

There are lots of good ways to get an ultrasound a second time. You could fake a low fetal kick count, for example....

I am totally laughing at the lady that said "having 2 children is like having 3 children and having 3 children is like having 3 children"! Why isn't having 3 children like having 6 children? Anyway, thanks for the walk down memory lane, it is so easy to forget how strange people act around pregnant women, like it is any of their business. Try not to listen to the wackos (even if it is your own mom) and enjoy your pregnancy, and Q will be an awesome big sister, and plenty of help. My 1st 2 were 18 months apart, and it wasn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be, trust me. :)

The comment from the MIL? Baaaaah.

And I say, go for the leg as penis story. Give your husband something to brag about for a while.

My take? There is nothing like pregnancy or infertility to bring out the dumbass in people. If those thoughtless comments didn't hurt so much it'd probably be really funny.

I'll never forget the *encouragement* from my ex-MIL when I was on 3 different fertility drugs trying to get preg: "Go on vacation and get drunk." Uh, ok, should I invite my RE, so he can do the blood draws and pelvic ultrasounds on the beach? Cool.

Sending you sunshiny thoughts and deaf ears!

I think you should start lying and "yes" people to death. Twins? Yep. Boy? Definitely - you should see his penis. Girl? You got that right. And she's a beauty. Congrats on your pregnancy and don't let the doofuses get you down.

I read/heard this somewhere:
Having...
1 child is like having 1 child.
2 children is like having 4 children.
3 children is like having 3 children.
4 children... it doesn't matter because the older ones are now helping with the younger one. :)
Enjoy!

Girl, double your pleasure with 2 ! My bro & wife now have FOUR and as a family they have more fun than anyone I know!

Although why am I talking. I'm terrified of having one. Shut me up !

People are stupid.

But that ultrasound and that cute little leg. *sigh* Makes it worth enduring the annoying comments, eh?

A very cute leg!

People are crazy--sorry they have to be that way around you, especially when you are pregnant.

Girl, I hear ya. I am still waiting for the tiredness to pass...and 20 weeks tomorrow, I was sure it would be gone by now! I think when we want to know the sex, they just decide they are going to be rascals. I just did my u/s and even with a cup of coffee juice, that child wasn't opening it's legs (hopefully it's a girl!! LOL) The dr. got 3 quick peeks and said he didn't see anything hanging out so with 90% assuredness, it's a girl. My husband says he would rather it be a girl than a boy with a small penis. NIIIICCCEEEE.

dude. it's all hard. always. one, two, or twenty.

because it just is. bleah.

and that is one cute baby boy in that photo.

Those ultrasound pix always confused me. The sonographer would make little arrows and type what the parts were so I could identify them later.

And next time someone tells you how hard 2 kids are, put your fingers in your ears and sing "lalalalalalalala...not listening!"

First of all, congrats on the baby!! Being a father of two, I will say that it definately does not get harder! I think we actually have more fun!

Second: I have never, ever seen anything on an ultrasound. EVER. They remind me of those color-blindness tests with numbers.

Everyone I know tell me there is an actual image.

So, if you tell me it is a penis...it is a penis!

This is the dark side of the "everyone wants to know you when you are prgnant or have a tiny baby". Thanks, stranger, for the unsolicited advice.

Hello, first time visitor here. I like your blog.

People just don't know when to keep it zipped.

Awww. We had sort of the same issues with our 2nd. We actually (sort of) wanted to know the sex but baby didn't cooperate. Three ultrasounds worth of not cooperating. In the end I liked the surprise better anyway.

My kids are 2 years and 1 week apart. (Now just-turned 4 and 2) The first 4-6 months were a bit of a blur, but I wouldn't change it for anything. They are great friends, and great enemies. But if someone else messes with M's little brother...there's hell to pay.

Awww. We had sort of the same issues with our 2nd. We actually (sort of) wanted to know the sex but baby didn't cooperate. Three ultrasounds worth of not cooperating. In the end I liked the surprise better anyway.

My kids are 2 years and 1 week apart. (Now just-turned 4 and 2) The first 4-6 months were a bit of a blur, but I wouldn't change it for anything. They are great friends, and great enemies. But if someone else messes with M's little brother...there's hell to pay.

Just wait until people, strangers at that, start criticizing the names you choose or are considering. I always thought that was pretty rude.

I now have carpal tunnel from scrolling down through all the comments. Nothing like a cute little prenatal baby leg to bring out the lurkers!

Meanwhile two under 2, 3 or 27...my sense is it's all wonderful and it's all hard. At least you have your hormones to blame when you tell the idiots to bite your pregnant ass.

I take it that everything else checked out great in the U/Sound. Are you moving before you have the baby? If so, your new OB may do an ultrasound again. I have two that are 23 months apart. It's hard but awesome. The love to play together. When one gets up, they look into the others room to see if he/she is up too.

Kristen, Congrats on your baby having legs. I think that is awesome!

How's that?

I never could see jack shit in those photos. They told me Maya was a girl and they were right, but they swore Nata was a boy and don't you see his teeny....oh sure I see it, I said. Turns out she was flipping us all off or something.

Two is more work....but duh, who didn't know that? But also, two is twice the smiles and giggles and pictures and love. Mine are right about 2 1/2 years apart. Having a second was nothing compared to having the first one. Less stress because I had a clue what was coming and then it was just somehow easier. You will be fine.

walk around with a sock you can randomly stuff in people's mouths when they say something stupid. LOL

I remember comments similar to that for my daughter. I don't have a second child yet but would like to start trying soon even though ever since my daughter was born all I have heard is so when are you going to have another one. Arent' mother in laws grand!

I just had my 2nd in April and my first just turned 2 exactly 1 month ago today. Needless to say, the comments are all too familiar. The "ugh, two in diapers" was my least favorite.
And yes, that is one cute leg. :-)

You're making me want to have a kid again! Oh to see that little heart go blip blip blip on that black and white screen is exhilarating!!

Okay, so with my first pregnancy, I had three different ultrasounds. AWESOME! I had a few sharp pains in my abdomen that brought me in for the first one. Some light spotting prompted my second. And the third was the routine sonogram.

The point is that the moment you complain about discomfort or pain, they'll do an ultrasound because it's an easy way to make sure the baby's okay. And insurance will cover it. Hint, hint.

Because a girl's gotta know what she's having. :)

Here's another vote for the two-under-three is groovy camp. Actually, having a second child made motherhood make a whole lotta more sense to me. It redeemed babies for me. It was not a whole lot more work than one and I got plenty of sleep (within, you know, the boudaries of how mothers define plenty of sleep). I was thrilled that I had surrendered to what I so did not want to do -- have another child.

MY comment? That baby is one lucky kid. Uh-huh.

So cute! I love looking at baby pictures, yours, mine, anyone's, beginning with sonograms.

My least favorite "helpful" comments were from the people who saw us out with a brand new born and said, "this is the easiest, when they're this young. It only gets harder after this." I was like ARE YOU F*ING KIDDING ME!?! It gets HARDER?

Congratulations!

As a survivor of the "two under three" (my baby starts kindergarten in just three short weeks), I can tell you that it isn't always as bad as people make it out to be. I have two kids (a boy and a girl) who are the very best of friends. They entertain and occupy each other. And even though they fight on occasion, they would fight for the other every single time. So just remember for every person that tells you it'll be hell there's probably twice as many that are thankful they've had their kids close together.

It's a boy! Hooray! (I'm the psychic ultrasound fairy.)

Maybe it's a horn.

You know, it's the same as women who want to tell you how AWFUL their labor was. Give it a rest, already.

And I snarled at people who extended their hands towards my belly. Or you could yell "My herpes is acting up, don't touch me!" for comedic effect

I'm schooled on not rubbing a woman's belly. Not really inclined to do such anyway. But think I'm very capable of saying, "yikes, no sleep for you, eh?" or I hear my mother in me saying, "you're brave, taking on two..."

In the name of we ignorant persons who bug the shit out of you, we mean well - just aren't quick on the update. and we deeply apologize. all of us. hopefully we will learn to close our collective traps and avoid getting swatted by your purse....

Wow. His future wife will be so happy! :)

Yes, on the snarky comments, and I'm all for Jayne's suggestion of a retort contest. What fun that would be!

Yes, hard, and yes no sleep. But what about the proud exclamations Q will make over her little bro/sis? What about the hugs and kisses, the protective older sister, and the giggles they'll have together? Those in a nanosecond make up for a couple years of sleep deprivation and needing six hands.

Congrats! I would love to know when the 2nd trimester becomes blissful also????

It could be a knee joint or a very endowed little boy...

You know, I find that people come out of the woodwork with their useless opinions and stories of what happened to their sister and their sister's friend during two key times in life: weddings and pregnancies. Just keep batting them with your purse...maybe carry a brick in it some days.

You could tell people its a picture of a tug boat and they'd believe it. I don't think anyone -- including doctors -- really understand those photos anyway!

And I had THREE under 3 and it was and still is a blast! (Am I drunk yet?)

that first sentece makes no sense...I guess since I have 2 kids 22 months apart I can't type or think anymore either, barhahahaar

Mine are 25 months apart.
And yes...it is harder. And yes..you will not sleep ever again.

But it is also easier.

No2 baby arrives to a mom who has been there and done that..you ride a wave of confidence with this newborn that you never had with the first one!

That makes it actually FUN!

So sure...I haven't splept in 4 years now....You get used to it!

That is a big and manly knee eh??

I have two little ones that are 2.5 years apart and everyone is always telling me how I have my hands full. I loved having my girls so close together, it’s so much fun watching them grow together and they always have a buddy to play with. Oh and I also hear that it is going to be so difficult to have two teenage girls under one roof. I am not all that worried about it...I trust my parenting skills for the most part and I think they are turning out to be great people! I wish people would just keep it to themselves. Everything will be just great for you!

mine are 22 months apart and although at first I was a missed amused at how difficult going anywhere was, now at ages 1 1/2 and 3 1/2...things are pretty cool, my second born is much easier of a person than my first born was and has just been a joy to be with..it's hard to complain about how hard it is when he is simply easy! good luck and enjoy...btw, it looks like a girl to me, lol

Cute US pic! Those never get old for me - what a little miracle! (and I think you should definitely tell people it's a penis...see if they're really looking!)

I think raising two or more is as hard as you want to make it. We have 3 1/2 year old twins. It is tiring. Having any kids is tiring. But, I would very rarely call it hard. If your priorities are in the right place, it is a lot more fun than hard.

Awww, look at your teeny baby! I love looking at Ultrasounds. I get all choked up about the "miracle of life" every freakin' time. Thanks for sharing it with us.

My kids are 26 months apart. It will be what it is-maybe hard, maybe easy. Don't let the asshats get you down.

See, I felt so strongly, I had to repeat myself!

Aw, Kristin, my first two are 22 months apart, the second to third are 2.5 years apart, and this one will be 2 years nine months from the third one. There are lots of advantages to doing it this way:

1. You get the diapers over and done with all at once, rather than being teased with one of them potty training before the next one is born.

2. The kids learn to be helpful and to cooperate.

3. They learn how to soothe themselves to sleep sooner (at least, mine did).

4. They are very close and loving, in part because they don't really remember too well a time when the others weren't there.

There are others, but this is your blog, not mine. You will do beautifully. I get the comments all the time "Are they all yours?" (like I have 8 or so, really, it's only 3) and "You have your hands full." Uh, yeah. No shit. Lend a hand instead of snide comments. People just frequently leave their brains at home. As for the running in the street while you handle the other one, I had a great double stroller with really really strong buckles on it that the kids couldn't undo (they could climb out from underneath, but I don't think they knew that) so I would leave the baby buckled in while I put the toddler in the car first. Worked like a charm. And that's the end of my assvice.

Good luck - check to see if they are routinely doing U/S later - my OB has added a "standard" 32 week U/S since I had Sunny.

Good God, people can be so idiotic. Sorry you've had to (and will still probably have to . . .) hear that stupidity.

Hey, you could have a retort contest on your blog and solicit good replies from your readers when people say stupid things, for future ammunition (or just internal smirking). Best of luck! You're going to need it, with 2 under 3. Oy. (Ha ha, just kidding . . .)

Good God, people can be so idiotic. Sorry you've had to (and will still probably have to . . .) to stupidity.

Hey, you could have a retort contest on your blog and solicit good replies from your readers when people say stupid things, for future ammunition (or just internal smirking). Best of luck! You're going to need it, with 2 under 3. Oy. (Ha ha, just kidding . . .)

If that's a winky then your hubby will love the bragging rights ;)

I love looking at ultrasounds. It is so amazing to know that little tiny leg is growing inside your body. You will be an amazing mom to your two children under three. After all you've been through, no one should be saying anything to you about it being hard. It is going to be wonderful!

That is a cute little leg you've got there.

We didn't know Cordy's gender for sure from the first ultrasound. She wouldn't hold still long enough for the doctor. So we went to Fetal Fotos just for a gender confirmation. They're essentially a for-profit ultrasound place, but they do have only certified ultrasound techs and they require permission from your doctor. That was when we found out we were having a girl.

You know, I'm not even pregnant yet and I'm already getting the comments about how hard two will be. It's like people can't think of anything to say, so they say shit like that, expecting you to thank them for the news.

Sarah ~

WTF are people thinking? I've had 2 miscarriages and people used to ask me almost every week "It's almost about time for #2 ..."

I found out that my six-month bump is a. a girl, or b. a boy with an embarassingly tiny cock. Then I went shopping with my mother, which was basically a great big tutting and eye-rolling fest on my part while she cooed over lots of pukesome pink frilly shit with rabbits on. I hate anything a. pink, b. frilly or c. with animals sewn onto it.

What I LOVE is when childless people (some of them men) tell me loudly how awful childbirth is. Do you get that?

La la la la I'm not listening.

I have two that are two minutes apart. You will do just fine.

The day I found out I was having twins one of my very best friends said "Well, don't get too excited. My friend was pregnant with twins and one absorbed the other one."

I had miscarried four months earlier.

Why do people say things like that to pregnant women?

I could never see a thing in any of mine - not even the ones done by the specialist with the super-high resolution monitor. Kyle and the tech would be all, "And look! Here are the four chambers of the heart!" and I'd be like, "And just how the fuck can you see THAT in this snowstorm?"

Healthy. That's what matters.

And why are people around you such fuckwits? "In case you LOSE it"?!?! How about a little support for you (and not of the "it's gonna be SO HARD" variety - also not helpful).

Feeling very indignant on your behalf.

*rubbing my eyes and nodding*

Cute knee joint you got there.

;)

I just happened upon your blog last night, and I LOVE IT!!!!
I have 2 that are 22 months apart...the most difficult thing about that first year was the parking lot situation...had to hold onto the baby, as well as make sure your older one didn't dart out in front of a car!!! It ALMOST makes you want to invest in the leash...LOL!!!
Good luck and hang in there:)

THat was an amazing thing to share with us. Honestly, it's always hard and it's always easy. If they're 4 minutes apart or 4 years apart. You will do fine. No, you will do great.

aren't ultrasound pictures just amazing? In the first one I had of my daughter, she was completely turned around, facing us (the viewers:Parents and technician) and it looked as if she was smiling! It was wierd, but great. I think it is very brave of you to post the u/s picture. I don't think I could ever do that. But, that's just me. Good luck with your pregnancy, hope all goes well.

Very cute knee! And I have two who are 23 months apart in age - are now 3 1/2 and 2. It's not that hard. You are a great mom, you'll do fine. I have yet to figure out why people feel compelled to impart their words of gloom. Shut the F up! Sorry...bad memories...

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