Diversity Anyone?

I realized that a lot of the blogs I read are written by white men and women. In fact, most of the blogs here at Clubmom are written by white women.

I know. They're the majority, right? And if you think about it, you have to be in a fairly privileged position to be blogging - computer, internet access. Even if you blog at work, you have to have a computer there, right?

And so, I wonder, where are the diverse bloggers? I've encountered some great blogs by black women, and the community of Asian bloggers on the web is astounding. And I've seen a few gay and lesbian blogs. But what about folks from different cultural backgrounds, namely religion, sexual orientation, etc.

Where are those blogs? They are parents too, right? Moms, yes? And I want to read them. I want to search them out and learn about their parenting experiences. As someone who values cultural diversity, I think it's silly for me not to want to branch out. Certainly we all desire common ground -folks that share common cultural beliefs. However, if I desire to offer the same diversity to my child, why the heck am I reading so many damn white people blogs?

Am I a total walking hypocrite?

Where are the parenting blogs by folks of color and other diverse cultures (that includes religion, sexuality, gender, age, class, etc.)? Let me know. I want to read them.

Here's the list I have come up with so far:

To-Ethiopia

Khatina

Jennifer

Kimchi Mamas

MetroDad

Daddy in a Strangeland

Rice Daddies

Chookooloonks

Lady M

CityMama

Denise

Grace

Comments

[nonlineargirl]

Fantastic discussion (in the comments, especially). As others have written - of course we have shared experiences, but there is more to it than being female. The recognition that we have different experiences and perspectives AND that we have commonalities is part of why it is so great to read what a latina, a midwesterner, a lesbian, hindi, or a half-japanese half-honduran mom has to say.

[Liza]

Hi!

I'm a little behind the curve, but wanted to point to my blog aggregator site for lesbian families: http://lesbianfamily.org/

I've sorted blogs by TTC, pregnant, babies, older kids, adoption, blogs by kids of lesbian moms, interracial families, and "friends of the family" -- supportive hetero blogs. And I'm open to adding additional categories as requested.

Drop by, and let me know if you would like to be added to the blogroll!

[Nancy]

Fascinating discussion.

One of my favorite mom bloggers (who unfortunately no longer has her blog) was a Muslim mother living in New Zealand. She didn't frequently talk about her religion or cultural background, but she was beginning to get into that kind of conversation when she stopped blogging. I wish she was still at it -- I was fascinated knowing that we had so much in common (love for our children) yet so much different (based on race and religion, and challenges based on diverse life experiences)

[Christy]

Interesting discussion. I have learned that one of the priviliges of being white is that we don't always have to think about what it means to be white. And though we may look at the effects of oppression on other groups we rarely look at how we benefit from oppression just by being born white.

And I know that it gets even more complicated when you add in biracial identities, sexual orientation, religion, disability etc.

My son's disabilities have introduced me to a world I never before considered as a healthy nondisabled person, a world that has been here all along but until now I never took the time to know.

And yes, at our core as mothers, we have a lot in common, such as our desire to protect our children and watch them grow, but our experiences as mothers are also shaped by cultural differences.

Thanks everyone for talking about this and sharing links.

[Angie]

I'm a black Christian blogger at graymattersonline.net. The thing about being a black mother often has a lot to do with practical issues, like the many hours we spend doing our daughters' (and our own) hair! You'd be amazed at the back story behind many of the cutest pictures, for instance.

[GiGi]

Spooky. I just started blogging and I've been working on a post discussing my personal diversity. Finished it just for you. It's here.

http://mamimobile.blogspot.com/2006/08/why-i-am-mommy-called-mami.html

[Karen Rani]

www.mochamomma.com

Kelly is awesome.

[eliaday]

1. I was just listening to the BlogHer identity & obligcation podcast with a bunch of the people listed above. It's a good listen: http://blogher.org/node/9559

2. Visit "The Other Mother" http://theothermother.typepad.com/ a non-biological lesbian mom. I love her site, and she's pretty open about talking about her experiences and perspectives as a lesbian mom.

3. What about the question posed in reverse? Are there blogs that you read that are by parents that don't talk about their identity as parents?

4. Being a person of color or a member of any kind of marginalized group makes your experiences in the US different. As a mom, as a woman, as an employee.... it's inescapable.

[jaelithe]

Hmm, I'm a pantheist (see the fairly good article about pantheism on Wikipedia if you're interested), but I don't really talk about it on my blog. Maybe I should start.

I'm also a quarter Native American. You wouldn't know it to look at a photo of me, but I wrote a whole series about it on my blog a while back, about being a mixed-race person married to a white person raising a mostly-white-but-slightly-something-else son. The series was called Tangled Roots.

You forgot Sweatpants Mom! She's Japanese. In fact, she just got back from a trip to visit family in Japan.

A few from my own blogroll you probably haven't heard of:

http://nacken.com - Nacken Family

chronicles a German/Japanese family currently living in Italy.

http://aeshemafury.blogspot.com - Furious Silence, and

http://raquita.blogspot.com - Me As Soon As I Figure Me Out

are an African-American husband and wife raising a daughter in my own hometown.

http://themadmomma.blogspot.com - The Mad Momma

hails from India, and often discusses issues related to her mixed-religion marriage.

[Kristen]

I'm not saying people of color or other diverse cultures love their kids any differently than we do - although we could argue that point -we the culture of STUFF and STUFF oh and STUFF.

However, I'm saying that our inherent experiences as parents - as well as how we are perceived, are different.

[Tsoniki]

When I was a baby (27+ years ago) people would ask my Mom "where did you get her?" as though I was found in some sort of store that carried darker skinned babies. *rolling eyes* Give me a break! I am Native American and so are both of my parents - but my Mom is light skinned w/ reddish hair and my Dad is very dark and often mistaken for being Mexican/Spanish.

I sort of experienced the same thing as my daughter is light skinned with reddish hair. And my husband and I are both darker then her. People look at me and do doubletakes looking at her. And hello, what year is this!

My parenting style is very different then my non-native friends - and a large part of it is culture based. So though a mom is a mom - I do think there is a difference in cases.

[Melissa]

You have to wonder if mothers of other ethnicities are able to avoid the intense and sometimes mean-spirited competition over not a heck of a lot that seems to consume suburban white mothers with too much time and money on their hands.

[Izzy]

Having been raised until adolescence by a non-white mom, I would have to partially disagree with you and say that in general, moms are moms are moms. I don't believe my mother loved me any differently than a white mom loves her children. But I do believe that her internalized experience, aside from loving her child, was probably different than say, mine is. I'm a white mother raisng a white child. My children and I look alike. But that is more of a mixed race issue, I suppose. In any case, I think there are more similarities than differences but that's only my observation of my own mother and not my actual experience.

[Dawn]

What a fabulous question Kristen. I know we've talked about this some, and I have chatted with Grace ( Marathon Mom).

Being a white mom means that we don't have to see certain specific issues in society if we choose to not see them. If I were the white Mom of a white child, I would certianly try to teach her to value diversity. However, having a bi-racial daughter and being married to a black man has opened my eyes in ways that I could have never imagined. I am forced to confront the different priviledges that I am afforded on the basis of my skin color.

The one thing I will leave you with is a question I asked my MIL and my mother which was:

"Do you worry that your son/nephew/grandson may be involved in an act of violence or police intervention on any given night"

My Mom=No. And if he did, he most likely was doing something he should not have been doing.

My MIL= Yes. And he may have had nothing to do with it, except be black and male.

Two mothers in America. Two completely different realities.

[FishyGirl]

While we ARE all moms, and to some degree a mom is a mom is a mom, my experience growing up in the DC burbs is very different from my friends in rural Pennsylvania who had never seen a person of color in real life until they were 14 and moved here. Good and bad, our life experiences shape our views of motherhood and how we approach raising our kids, and personally, I think it will make me a better mom if I can learn as much as possible about the experiences of those who aren't like me. If nothing else, it helps me answer honest questions from my kids about race, religion, sexual orientation, and gender from a more informed place than I would if I didn't seek out these voices. It also makes me examine my own life and point of view, to examine if I am truly as tolerant and open minded as I think I am, if I am actively living what I preach, rather than just giving lip service to an ideal.

[crazedparent]

it's funny you should mention that question of people thinking a mom is the nanny. it happens to me all the time.

i'm hispanic and i refer to my heritage on my blog. if you saw my photo you'd liekly think i was just another gringa (my dad is irish-american, my mom salvadoran). it hasn't been something i've writen about specifically, largely because i haven't experienced anything that has been blog fodder since my boys are pretty young. but that's started to change and i've some good stories to tell.

[Shrinkingmom]

I read these moms who happen to be lesbians:

http://life-as-a-parent.blogspot.com/ Life as a Parent by Deb

http://lifeinthesuburbs.blogspot.com/ Suburban Lesbian, by Suzanne

http://elswhere.blogspot.com/ Travels in Booland by elswhere

[joannmski]

I like the blog "Peace on that" http://www.peaceonthat.blogspot.com/ - actually written by an African American male, step dad to be - he's got a link to http://sisterstalk.com/blackblogs/links.php.

[Bethiclaus]

Well, I am white, but I am raising a Latina. I think it has definitely shaped the way I am raising her.

I haven't blogged about it much, mostly because I think that a lot of people have the same attitude as a, "a mom is a mom."

To be honest, I'm still working out for myself what it means to be a family of diversity.

[Miss Michelle]

DEFINITELY check out: http://namethatmama.blogspot.com/ It's a wonderful look at the life of a beautiful lesbian couple. You will immediately fall in love with: Emelin, Brooke, and Sanna. Either that or just want to kiss little Sanna's precious toes.

[Kristen]

Sure, you're right. We do all love our kids. But our experiences as privileged whites as compared to an asian or a latino (privileged or not) or an African American or a lesbian mother could be (and will most likely be) very different.

Do I know what it's like for people to think I'm my kid's nanny? Do I know what it's like for people to think I shouldn't have a child because I'm not with a man?

No. And while I love my kids just as much as they do - I'm thinking their life experiences are going to be way different than mine.

And I want to read about them to help expand my mind.

The view that all moms are the same is extremely limited.

[jandzsmom]

I disagree, Mother, a mom is a mom is a mom. We all may have different heritages, cultural norms, methods, etc., but we all love our children and want the same things for them: health, love, happiness. Am I wrong?

[Mother]

A, I'm guessing you're white.

Otherwise you'd realize a mom isn't a mom isn't a mom.

[a]

Oh, really, does it matter? I mean, a mom is a mom is a mom and a feeling is just the same...why SEARCH for differences? TOo much time, I am thinking...

[ann adams]

I have quite a few on my blog roll. Most of us are more chatty than clever but we are diverse.

If you'd like to email me, I can send you some.

Oh, found you at BB commenting on business cards and friends.

Ann (aka granny)

[fizzle]

Do you read my mind? You must. I've been in search of a personal blogs that reflect more of the differences in our life...I try to 'patronize' diverse blogs - whether it be topic, region of country, race, culture, etc. But -- unless I'm missing the boat -- diverse blogs that aren't political are harder to come by.

I say your recognition doesn't make you a hypocrit and bringing attention to a communal deficit is one of the ways we can begin to think differently about the blogging community.

A few blogs do come to mind:

"Free Flow"
annetteonculture.blogspot.com

BlackatMichigan.com

"Negro Please"
http://www.negroplease.com/my_weblog

"Negrophile"

"Mixed Media Watch"
mixedmediawatch.com

"Chicana on the Edge"
http://chicanaontheedge.blogspot.com

"Hysterical Blackness"
http://hystericalblackness.blogspot.com/

[FishyGirl]

http://lilysea.blogs.com/peterscrossstation/

Try this one, Shannon is great.

[Sunshine Scribe]

I couldn't agree with you more. In fact I had the same conversation with my husband last week. Thanks for this great list!

[Much More Than A Mom]

Thanks for those links - I'm going to check them out.

I love www.ebonymommy.com. She's a sweetie and her kids are ADORABLE!!

[krista]

Momster- http://irenenam.squarespace.com/

[mothergoosemouse]

Great list, K!

I also read Agnostic Mom (www.agnosticmom.com) if you are looking for diversity in religious beliefs.