Why Do You Comment?

I admit that my commenting has been extremely subpar these days. I took a break from it on my vacation and I've been slow to get back to it. And while I read about 65 blogs, plus writing almost the same (okay, I'm exaggerating, but you get my point), it's getting to be a little overwhelming.

Then Izzy's post got me thinking. You know. People read and they comment. Then they expect you to come back and do the same - with the hopes that you get hooked on them, add them to your blogroll, and run off together to the Cayman Islands. Heh. But then, they either don't come back, or they come back and comment once. And you realize. Maybe they're not that into me.

It sucks, but you get over it. Or do you?

So, do you stop reading them altogether? I mean, did you just read their blog just because you wanted them to come back to read yours? And because they don't read yours, you won't read theirs?

Hey. I get it. You want some readers and so you leave a comment. It's how I find new blogs - through clicking back in my comments. And I have done and still do the same at other blogs. However, it seems like it's bad etiquette if you don't click back and leave a comment - like interweb eyes start a-rolling. And you hear the "getting to big for your britches" type sentiments.

So, why do you comment? I mean. What's your motivation? Does every post you read speak to you enough that you need to say something, or are you motivated by something else? Like empathy (I like comments so maybe they do too), potential readership (maybe they'll click back if I comment), or potential hits (maybe the other commenters will peruse the comments and click to me).

Would you rather have someone read you a lot and not comment much ala lurker-chic, or someone who reads you based on clickbacks and your comments, and just comments on your blog to get you to come back?

Are comments really what blogging is about? Are they essential to your blogging existence?

C'mon. Spill the beans.

Comments

[joy]

i would respond, but you've not commented on my blog recently, so i am boycotting.

HA!!!! gotcha!!!

as my whole blog network gets bigger, i want to do the good thing and show people I am reading by leaving comments--it does seem like good ettiquette. a quid pro quo thing. If someone comments on my blog, I do try to reciprocate--and have found great blogs this way.

But sometimes it feels overwhelming, and even a little like a chore. Do you know what I mean? Like you are doing something to maintain good relations and (selfishly) your own readership and that's what it's about. And that's kind of less fun. And altogether too obsessive and absorbing. I'd rather focus on enjoying the writing and reading than obsessing about audience (but it's a delicate balance, especially for an attention-hog like me).

Last few weeks when I have had somewhat of a hiatus, the distance has helped me a bit. I want to do this for fun, as a creative outlet, and to make connections with people through writing. If I let myself, I could be reading and commenting on blogs all day (and have done) but I then find myself (uncomfortable confession here) sub-consciously keeping a tally sheet on whether someone is as "polite" as me and reciprocates.

And that kind of sucks. Because I know from my webstats that I have many more people reading than commenting. And not everyone is like me and has way too much to say to everyone about everything. Some people like to observe without comment. And maybe it's OK to be that person sometimes. I need to be, for sure.

For my own sanity and productivity, I am trying to limit my comments a bit (can't you TELL???? HA!) I was going to get wireless at home this summer, but now I have decided against it, because I know I will become addicted to blogging 24/7, and I need to keep it as a meaningful part of my life, but not something I am eating and breathing (although, when I am on maternity leave, WATCH OUT, because I will be crazed blogger).

OK. Must close Blog Windows. Must do Work.

[Becky]

I usually just comment when a post speaks to me or I have something to say about it. I don't feel the need to comment on every post every day on every blog I read and I don't feel that If I comment on your blog you have to come back and comment on mine..heck most of the time I figure I'm boring.

[Mayberry]

I actually have a hard time with this--I WANT to comment, for all the reasons you listed; but the pressure, it bears upon me to say something clever (I mean, how could you top mom-101 here? LOL!) or at least, y'know, relevant.

[Jaime]

I write my blog to talk about what is going on in my life. Comments are validating----like someone out there, whether I know them in "real life" or not knows what I am going through or what I am talking about. I like to comment on other people's blogs for the same reason. And yes, I read through other's comments when I comment on another blog and have found some GREAT blogs out there this way. But I try to comment only if I really do have something to say about the post. My fave blogs usually get at least a comment every few days! Hey MU--I think I comment on many of your blogs at least daily!!! :)

[Nan]

It's funny you mentioned the whole commenting deal. I'm so new to the blogosphere that I really haven't paid attention to blog etiquette (or what it really is).

I recently started my blog to keep in touch with my family and friends...especially since the majority of my family is in India. The funny thing is that I am surprised that very few of my friends (and none of my family) comment. Most of them email me or mention something about a post during a phone conversation, but they're too shy to comment.

Since my blog isn't really a "public" blog like many are (and you all do such a great job with it), I don't expect that one day I will have 40 people commenting. However, I am a little hurt that my friends and family don't take the time to at least say, "Hi."

My reason for commenting isn't to bring people to my blog, because it probably isn't interesting to those who don't know me. I do it for the same reason(s) that Pattie stated.

[mom101]

Since at the end of each month, you get to trade all of your comments for cash, I try to leave a lot so I get a lot. I'm saving up for a PS3.

[macboudica]

I leave comments when I have something to say. Like some others said, I see it as conversation. Is is nice to get comments from others, too, to know that they are actually reading your stuff and not just passing by.
I read blogs I like regardless if the blogger leaves comments on mine.
I don't get too wrapped up in who comments and who doesn't. This is supposed to be fun, right? To me all the comment paranoia is not fun.

[supa]

Until I saw izzy's post, I never really thought about the manners of the thing. Probably a clueless stance, I concede. But I also feel like sometimes there's a strict social code that's sprung up among mommybloggers, and following the etiquette can be exhausting.

That said, I comment when I have something to say, or feel a connection, or just feel like seeing my name in print one more time. Depends on the blog.

[Christina]

Can I answer all of the above, or is that cheating?

Yes, I love getting comments as an affirmation that people are reading what I say and have an opinion on my thoughts.

And I'm generally more than happy to clickthru to see the blog of any new commenter. You never know when you'll find a new best blog friend. If it's someone who I clearly can't identify with, then I may not come back.

I comment on blogs that I enjoy, although I don't comment on every single post. There are some posts that I simply enjoy reading and have nothing to add to the conversation. It's not that I don't like that person - just that I had nothing to add to that conversation.

[Carrie]

I comment for two reasons. One of which is like you said. I hope to get other people to my blog. The sites I comment on are usually sites that I can relate to, so I just figure the people who write them will get me. But I also only comment if I have something to say. I'm not going to just leave a "hey, nice blog" comment because to me that *is* just fishing for someone to comeback and say the same.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

I agree, Johnny, but why do commenters comment? Just to say "I hear you sistah? (or brutha)? Or are their other motivators?

[Jennifer Lawson]

Before I had a blog I left comments because I know that if people think they're talking to themselves they're less likely to post and I wanted them to continue. Now I still comment a lot just because I know what it's like to be paranoid about a comment-less post. "Did they not like it? Was it boring? Is anyone out there?" I just know how nice it is to have someone say "Yes. You're alive and I know it and I'm right there with you." It's stupid, I know...but I need the validation and I think others might too.

[Johnny]

Posters want comments for affirmation that someone out there is actually reading the blog and that what they write is actually meaningful. Sorta like an "Amen brother!". However, disagree? And that's where the delete button comes in.

The thing is we all have the option of turning off comments...no?

[Pattie]

I leave comments because I generally feel it is almost like having a conversation with others. Many times, when I have left a comment, I will go back to the blog in question and read the other comments left after mine. I may even comment twice. I will admit that when someone new leaves me a comment, I do go to their blog and check them out. I feel it is like a "cyber courtesy." Sometimes I like what they have to say, and I leave a comment. if their blog isn't for me, I may not leave one. I generally only comment on those blogs I read everyday because I truly enjoy them. Usually my favorite bloggers are writing about something I find compelling. If they don't I may only read and go onto the next blog.