I've been struggling for the last 20 some odd months with transitioning from woman to mother - and finding the balance between the two. Quite frankly, I dumped way too much of myself out with my 4-day old breastmilk and didn't think I'd ever really have a life outside my daughter.
I didn't intend for that to happen. I was that well-intentioned sassy preggo that vowed never to talk a friend's ear off about her cute kid, still wear the cute shoes and purse combo, and make time for herself in one form or another. But then my daughter came, and through no fault of my own I got sucked into her little vacuum.
It wasn't until I realized that after she was sleeping in a horizontal flat position for naps, and enjoying more than just my boob for her daily nourishment, I had absolutely nothing to call my own. And I was pissed. I wanted it all - a life for my daughter and a life for myself. But, trying to survive a challenging baby in a place that just didn't offer much refuge for a reasonably cultured individual didn't offer many options.
I've since added several hobbies, er, blogging and blogging, as well as a few more babysitting hours, shopping trips, and gulp, a gym membership. And slowly, I feel as though I'm emerging from that scary dark place I hid for awhile, and I'm becoming a mom and woman that I'd be proud to know.
So, when do we get to have it all as mothers and women? And what is that, really, that infamous ALL we all (at one level or another) strive for in our daily lives? Check out my essay at The Whole Mom and let me know what you think.