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May 28, 2006

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For me, the PPD was so Bad that it was clear that to go off with a 2nd baby would be terribly bad news. The doctors told me that I would need to stay on meds through a 2nd pregnancy and closely monitored after labor and delivery.

For my family - it was never worth the risk and anguish to all of us for me to go through that again.

I grieved for awhile. I wanted a different experience with a baby, not the one that I had. For my body, though, it just can't happen again. I was dangerous to everyone.

Thanks for the link!

It really is a struggle to know when and how to wean off. I suffered one bout of depression years ago, and I remembered constantly questioning myself as I weaned off. "Am I feeling OK? Do I feel down? Is this down moment a sign of depression returning?" The self-analysis was enough to drive me mad.

I'm trying to be laid-back this time and not over-analyze it to death. Not to mention that I have a toddler to keep up with now, so I don't have time to sit around and over-analyze much.

Toddlers as birth control? I couldn't have said it better myself.

Kristin-love it! This post touched a nerve in me. All I can say is that I waited 4 years for baby #2 because of the traumatic experience of having a baby! I have been on and off (mainly off) anti-depressants for the last 4 years. When I decided to try for baby #2 I was not on anything but insisted that I be placed on something the day the baby was born for fear of PPD. I did just that and things were soooo much better. Could have been that I was better prepared and had a very helpful, potty-trained 4 year old. I had some reservations with the age spread but now would never do it any other way. My now 5 year old is an endless entertainer for the baby (10 months)! I just recently got off the meds and the withdrawls was horrendous! No one prepared me for that! AH! Just glad I'm off them now and still feel okay.

I will visit her blog as well, but here's my take based on my own experience.

About six weeks after Tacy was born, my OB prescribed meds and recommended therapy. I had difficulty finding a psychiatrist who took insurance. I called nearly a dozen; only one returned my call. We didn't click. But with the meds, I was feeling sufficiently well that I only saw the psychiatrist a few times.

I remained on the meds (at a very low dosage) until two months before we planned to begin trying to conceive. My OB gave me directions for weaning, and it went very well. I remained off the meds until 20 weeks, when my OB agreed that I could resume my previous dosage, but she also referred me to the women's clinic at the same hospital where she practiced.

The women's clinic there was fairly new, and it was a fantastic resource. They accepted insurance, and patients were treated by psychiatry residents specializing in women's care.

I clicked immediately with my assigned resident. We saw each other every three weeks or so for the remainder of my pregnancy and post-partum until we moved.

My appointments were very reassuring to me in that I had always thought I had a pretty good handle on my so-called issues and that I dealt with them appropriately, and she confirmed that it really was a matter of needing the meds and an occasional appointment to gauge how well they were working for me. That is, I didn't need any sort of in-depth regular therapy - it was a matter of a chemical imbalance that my meds were treating quite well.

After CJ's birth, I still had PPD, but it was much less severe than with Tacy. I'm sure that was due to a combination of factors - being better prepared for the stress of a new baby, being on meds, and being under the care of a psychiatrist.

Nonetheless, although the second pregnancy, birth, and post-partum period went much more smoothly than the first, I truly don't think I can handle a third. I don't regret having a second - and even if I knew it would still be as tough as it was, I would have chosen to have a second anyway - but I don't need a third go-round.

HHmmm not sure I should answer this one as I had no PPD symptoms. Ok, well I will tell you why I had two.
Mine are a little over two and a half years apart. I really didn't want Maya to be an only, plus we knew we wanted to have at least two. And something about having a toddler made me want a baby again. Not sure there is any logic there. But there it is. As Maya was a pretty easy toddler we thought another one would be a breeze. We were kidding ourselves, but I can't imagine my life without Nata.

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