Here you go, blogosphere. Hook me up. Help a girl out.
1. A book deal (of the not-so-textbook kind)
2. One IRL mommy friend that lives in Mississippi
3. Lipo and a boob job that does not involve surgery, dieting, purging, or exercise
4. A big fat lottery win!
5. A Philly Cheese Steak
6. A Michael Vartan real doll
7. Katie Holmes announcing that Tom Cruise is a lunatic
8. Lentil Kibbee from La Shish in Detroit
9. A 100% guarantee that my daughter will live a happy, full, and healthy life.
10. A 100% guarantee that I will live to see her do #9, from my large French Villa thanks to #1.
11. Approval of our request to move the hell out of Mississippi
12. A fun mom blogger trip to Miraval - all expenses paid thanks to #1 (it's going to be an awesome book) or whoever wants to foot the bill (Oprah, did you hear that?)
13. Peace and solace for T
14. Much sleep for me and Mrs. Fortune.
15. Lots of paying business for Izzy.
18. The SaTC Box Set
19. A special ear filter that allows me to understand anyone speaking with a Southern accent so I don't have to say "excuse me" 5000 times
20. A visit from Stacy London and Clinton Kelly - and the $5000 shopping spree, of course
21. A free maid
22. A free cook, preferably Giada di Laurentis (with a few extra pounds and a large wart on her nose - can't have her looking all thin and sexy in my kitchen)
23. Happy and healthy lives for all my mom blogger pals and their kiddos
26. An instant hemmaroid cure that does not involve creams, gels, or anyone taking a knife to my asshole
27. No more miscarriages
28. Mission Impossible flopping
29. Free gas (cars people)
Thanks HBM. Now we're talking!