I've endured 15 hours of drug-free labor and months of holding my daughter for 2 naps a day. I breastfed for 21 months, while eating only spinach, turkey, grapes, and cranberries (and a few other foods) for about 10 of them. And, I have wiped bloody green stool from my daughter's tiny white bum way too many times. But for the life of me I cannot stop obsessing over my 22-month old's hairy left leg.
Apparently, 7 weeks in a dark, moist, fiberglass cast will grow large amounts of hair on even the tiniest and cutest of legs. And quite frankly, if it were me, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. But it just seems kind of wrong to have a little near-2 year old running around with a leg that resembles that of a crunchy green peace volunteer out on an Alaskan whale protest.
At first we thought it would just fall out. I mean, it just looks ridiculous - almost fake. And then it became quite obvious that there was absolutely nothing we could do about it. I mean, anything I do will either make me a total lunatic or require a visit from DYFS. Pluck? No way. Nair? Just seems like that shouldn't be put on anyone who can't at least spell it. Wax? Can you just imagine walking into the spa and plopping your 2-year old on the white sheet-covered table? If you haven't, don't worry. I have. It's not pretty.
So in the spirit of acceptance, I came up with a few alternatives.
- Maybe it qualifies as some sort of weird disease - like Hairicus Limbus. That could mean free reign of the big bathroom stall, a cool parking spot, and no guilt for using the fancy button to open the automatic doors.
- We could use it as a way to deter potential suitors, pushing back her dating age to at least 25. "Dude, she has one really hairy leg. I'm pretty sure she's not someone you want to take home to mom, ever."
- Or we could avoid all those ID bracelets and bright orange "won't-lose-them-even-in-a-NY-subway" t-shirts. "Hey people. Anyone seen the girl with the really hairy left leg?"
I'm not exactly sure why it bothers me so much. I don't love her any less nor would I trade that little hairy leg in for another one. So, I guess I'm just going to have to suck it up and get over it. Because, when it comes down to it, one hairy leg is way better than two.
That's my story - and I'm sticking with it.
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