Here you go, blogosphere. Hook me up. Help a girl out.
1. A book deal (of the not-so-textbook kind)
2. One IRL mommy friend that lives in Mississippi
3. Lipo and a boob job that does not involve surgery, dieting, purging, or exercise
4. A big fat lottery win!
5. A Philly Cheese Steak
6. A Michael Vartan real doll
7. Katie Holmes announcing that Tom Cruise is a lunatic
8. Lentil Kibbee from La Shish in Detroit
9. A 100% guarantee that my daughter will live a happy, full, and healthy life.
10. A 100% guarantee that I will live to see her do #9, from my large French Villa thanks to #1.
11. Approval of our request to move the hell out of Mississippi
12. A fun mom blogger trip to Miraval - all expenses paid thanks to #1 (it's going to be an awesome book) or whoever wants to foot the bill (Oprah, did you hear that?)
13. Peace and solace for T
14. Much sleep for me and Mrs. Fortune.
15. Lots of paying business for Izzy.
16. Book deals for all my blogging friends that want them or should be getting them soon.
17. HBO
18. The SaTC Box Set
19. A special ear filter that allows me to understand anyone speaking with a Southern accent so I don't have to say "excuse me" 5000 times
20. A visit from Stacy London and Clinton Kelly - and the $5000 shopping spree, of course
21. A free maid
22. A free cook, preferably Giada di Laurentis (with a few extra pounds and a large wart on her nose - can't have her looking all thin and sexy in my kitchen)
23. Happy and healthy lives for all my mom blogger pals and their kiddos
24. Patience
25. Clarity
26. An instant hemmaroid cure that does not involve creams, gels, or anyone taking a knife to my asshole
27. No more miscarriages
28. Mission Impossible flopping
29. Free gas (cars people)
30. Rest
Thanks HBM. Now we're talking!
This is good that people are able to get the loans moreover, this opens new possibilities.
Posted by: Turner29Sofia | April 08, 2010 at 09:48 PM
30x happy birthday to you! I would SO join you in a Philly cheese steak if I could. My brother owns a house mere blocks from Pat's & Geno's... and he is a vegetarian. Oh the irony.
Posted by: Mayberry | May 08, 2006 at 03:12 PM
Happy 30th! May this year be an especially fantastic one for you - you are wonderful, and deserve it.
Posted by: urban child bride | May 08, 2006 at 02:12 PM
Hell yeah, I second MI flopping. Can you read my mind?
Posted by: Meagan | May 08, 2006 at 01:30 PM
Happy Birthday, you firm young wench you!!! Oh, and you need a "what not to wear" makeover. You;d better start faking that Miss. style lady. I had the same conversation wit hubs this weeken--sked him to record me looking like a fashion-impaired skank who needs "sophistication" makeover. I NEED $2,000 PLUS TRIP TO MANHATTEN, DAMMIT.
Posted by: joy | May 08, 2006 at 01:23 PM
Happy 30th Birthday Kristen! Wish we could be there to celebrate with you! (Or, wish YOU could be HERE! I know it's where you rather be...) Anyway, hope it was happy!
P.S. I'm getting into SatC now. Don't have the box set yet, but if I ever get it, we'll have to have a marathon! No husbands allowed, of course. ;)
P.P.S. Love the new look of the site! (Here and at CMP!)
Posted by: JChase | May 08, 2006 at 01:15 PM
OMG...Just my luck I'd decide to move into my new house on your birthday weekend and I'd MISS your big day COMPLETELY!!
I'm so sorry, girl, but I hope you had a FANTASTIC day anyway. (And muchas gracias por the book deal wishes!)
I'll ring you later...tonight??
Posted by: Hill | May 08, 2006 at 12:57 PM
Cheers to you, K. Sounds like 30 fabulous wishes to me - may they all be granted.
Posted by: mothergoosemouse | May 08, 2006 at 12:25 PM
Happy Birthday!!!!
Hope every one on your list comes true, especially nine and ten.
Thanks for thinking of me, but really, don't waste your wishes on a redneck. That's what I have a therapist for...
xxox
Posted by: Redneck mommy | May 08, 2006 at 11:17 AM
those are great!!! I hope you get all or at least half of them!!!
Posted by: jodes | May 08, 2006 at 10:52 AM
Good ones! You can do it all! I'm with ya!
Happy birthday!
Posted by: Lucinda | May 08, 2006 at 10:49 AM
PS -
Giada looks like a pez dispenser. She's got nothing on you, Gorgeous.
Posted by: Michele | May 08, 2006 at 10:14 AM
Happy Birthday and many more.
Love the new look. Love it!
Posted by: Michele | May 08, 2006 at 10:13 AM
I'm double-wishing all of your wishes for you.
Even #25, even though from where I'm sitting, you've already got more of it than most people I know. But you can never have too much (which is also true of #24 and #30, and probably everything else, including Philly Cheese steak. Oh, and you, sweet lady, and your blog. Can't get enough.)
Posted by: Her Bad Mother | May 08, 2006 at 08:42 AM
#5? I'm all over it. Will be in Philly in June. If I can figure out how to pack it, I'll send it. Pinky swear!
Posted by: Kvetch | May 08, 2006 at 07:54 AM
Happy B-day and I absolutely love the new look. It's GREAT!
Posted by: Kristina | May 08, 2006 at 05:09 AM
Happy Birthday! Love your new look!
Hope you get everything on your list. And don't worry about Giada... she only looks sexy until her overly large head makes her topple over. (What? I know you've thought it!) And I can't imagine she's as young as 30.
Posted by: the weirdgirl | May 08, 2006 at 02:03 AM
Oh yeah and 30 kisses and 30 spankings too...
(Oooooh lala!)
Posted by: GIRLS GONE CHILD | May 08, 2006 at 01:35 AM
Happy Birthday Kristen (a couple of hours late, though...) Hope you get all you asked for and more this year.
LOVE the new site. kudos to you and Izzy!
Posted by: Nancy | May 08, 2006 at 01:35 AM
Happy Birthday my wonderful, beautiful, brilliant, rock & roll, creative, fab friend. You are awesome. I'm drinking a glass of wine and toasting to you. May this year be THE YEAR. You deserve all the goods, my dear. Love to you.
Posted by: GIRLS GONE CHILD | May 08, 2006 at 01:35 AM
Hope you get everything on your list and more.
When I don't understand someone's accent, I just smile and nod. I'm sure that I look like a complete idiot.
Love your new look but now I crave chocolate even more.
Posted by: something blue | May 08, 2006 at 01:24 AM
The perfect balance of humor, sincerity, altruism, and hope. All excellent traits for a hot, happening 30 yo mama. Happy happy birthday dahlink. Let's start planning that Miraval trip at BlogHer.
Posted by: Mom101 | May 07, 2006 at 11:53 PM
Yeah! Happy Birthday! I hope to hook you up with a big fat bday present if we win the lotto.
Results will be out on Wednesday...:)
Posted by: Mommy off the Record | May 07, 2006 at 11:49 PM
Happy Birthday! Love your blog.
Posted by: 3littlepigs | May 07, 2006 at 11:17 PM
Happy bday, youngster. :) Good luck on the list--and lemme know when you get that book deal and wanna share the wealth/connections--dadbloggers need the hookup too! ;)
Posted by: daddy in a strange land | May 07, 2006 at 11:11 PM
Well, if you get no. 11, then you won't need no. 19. And if you get no. 11 in the D.C. area, I would so hang with you.
Happy Birthday, and I think no. 1 isn't too far off.
Posted by: Kristi | May 07, 2006 at 09:19 PM
Happy Birthday, my friend. I hope you get your wishes! Love the new look.
May this year be the best ever!
Posted by: Jenn | May 07, 2006 at 09:08 PM
Wow, new look! Cool!
The only one I could help you out with is #5. However, if you ever move to Ohio, I'd be happy to be one of your IRL friends!
Oh, and much luck towards #30. Hope you gave the small one to the huz and relaxed for awhile.
Posted by: Christina | May 07, 2006 at 08:46 PM
Happy Birthday babe! Here's to getting everything on your most reasonable list of requests, and then some.
(lovin' the new wrapper!)
Posted by: Jenn | May 07, 2006 at 07:41 PM
Happy Birthday, Girlfriend!
What a great list. Hope you get all of it and thanks for wasting one on me :)
***I tried to comment last night but you had them turned off
Posted by: Izzy | May 07, 2006 at 07:18 PM
Happy birthday, Kristen! Number eight is on me: I have a LaShish about a mile from my house. The service is terrible but the food rocks.
I hope you get everything on your list.
Posted by: Becki | May 07, 2006 at 06:44 PM
Happy Birthday!
Posted by: mama_tulip | May 07, 2006 at 05:44 PM
Enjoy your milestone day, heres to the next 10 and may they be full of interesting adventures and much much mcuh laughter.
Posted by: Lia | May 07, 2006 at 05:27 PM
Um, HUGS. Three times now. Sigh.
Posted by: Jayne | May 07, 2006 at 04:37 PM
You deserve them all!
(oh and Happy Happy Happy Happy Birthday!!!!) (((HUGGS)))
Posted by: Jayne | May 07, 2006 at 04:36 PM
You deserve them all!
(oh and Happy Happy Happy Happy Birtday!!!!) (((HUGGS)))
Posted by: Jayne | May 07, 2006 at 04:36 PM
Good luck with that. Doesn't seem like to much to ask, if we all pitch in.
Posted by: nonlineargirl | May 07, 2006 at 03:37 PM
Loving the new digs!
Happy happy birthday Kristen!!
Wishing you everything on your list and more.
Posted by: Sunshine Scribe | May 07, 2006 at 03:13 PM
you lost me a "knife to my asshole" the full body shudder shut off all brain function
Posted by: fidget | May 07, 2006 at 02:33 PM
Oh and I love the new design. Cool, chickie!
Posted by: Lisa B | May 07, 2006 at 02:16 PM
Happy Birthday!
I hope you get everything on your list! Hope it turns out to be a wonderful year for you...
Posted by: Lisa B | May 07, 2006 at 02:15 PM
There are LOTS of stuff on your list that are definitely on mine, but number 30 - I would give up an appendage for number 30!!!!
Posted by: Irene | May 07, 2006 at 02:00 PM