The Military Spouse Social aka The Boring Party I Avoid Like the Plague

I generally don’t advertise that I’m a military spouse. I really don’t associate myself with the military lifestyle, mainly because I moved here separate of my husband, met him here, and it’s not a huge part of my life. When I do end up on base for one thing or another, no one knows who I am – basically because I haven’t changed my name.

"Why aren't you changing your name?"

"Um, I like mine. And I'm famous. Didn't you know?"

As you might imagine, I’m generally not pleased with people not knowing me for me – I hate the “I’m so-and-so’s wife” thing. Ack. Mrs. Douglas "Smith." Double Ack. Even more annoying is trying to explain why I was here in the first place, since apparently no one understands that professors take jobs in weird places as well.

"So, how did you get here?"

"I came for the job."

"You came all the way down here for that? How did you find out about it?"

"Um. Yes. I came all the way here to start a prestigious undergraduate program, direct it, teach all the classes, and write 2 books. And they advertised on Girls Gone Wild, Southern Edition."

Let's just say I sort of steer clear of the military crowd.

With that said, the monthly military spouse social came and went. I generally avoid them like a bad cold sore, but I do feel guilty, on occasion, because there’s the whole “you’ve got to go to make your husband look good” vibe happening – and I don’t want the huz to get shat upon because I’m a recluse. But, since he's in the shithouse and the party generally sucks, I’ve decided I’m going to boycott until they decide to do something fun, like play poker, drink wine, or watch Sex and the City. Until then, I’m just going to bitch about it and hope no one from that crowd reads my blog.

Last month we had to share our favorite recipe and bring the actual dish to the event. Haha. That makes absolutely no sense to me. Why do I and 40 other people have to bring an entire dish to a party where no one really wants to eat anyway? And why do I want to cook on the ONE night I don't have to cook? Granted, my recipe was a total foodnetwork ripoff that would have taken me all of 4.27 minutes to prepare, but still. It’s the principle of it all. So, I blew it off.

This month I have to bring $10 for a plant exchange, and wear a spring hat. WTF? First of all. I don’t want a plant of any kind. Okay. Perhaps a *ahem* special plant, maybe, but other than that, I’ll have to pass. And then the spring hat. What the hell might that be exactly? A bonnet? A flowered baseball cap? The only thing I can think of would be a sombrero, because that’s just the kind of asshole I am. And of course, NO ONE would think it was funny except me.

So, I wonder. Am I the only one who thinks all this stuff is totally lame? Are there really spouses that excitedly dig through their closet trying to find the perfect spring hat? I mean. Why can’t we do something FUN? I’m thinking a beer pong tournament or one of those sexy striptease classes. Something. Just. Not. A. Plant. Exchange.

Since I don’t know about 99.2% of them, I’m pretty sure my presence is not missed. And while I imagine it might be nice to see some female adults, I’m thinking perhaps I could make better use of the mommy night out and hit a late happy hour and a movie.

“Social was great honey. Thanks for getting home early. I can’t wait for next month…”

Comments

[mil at lacy knitting]

Social gatherings are a great way to connect with others with similar likes or dislikes.

Keep going in one; you are sure to find a friend.

[Paulette]

I ditto Lynn Thiessen and commend her for her comments. It seems like your mentors have failed you- or maybe you've never given them the chance to teach you in any way. I had an amazing woman lead me years ago in the beginning of my husband's career- when I was feeling quite like you did when you posted that. However my story is different as my husband and I made our lives together knowing and being married to one another prior to his enlistment. We chose this life together. You, however, knew your husband was a GI before you married him and decided to jump onboard anyway. That alone should squelch any bitching about the life that is involved with being a military spouse on the spot. While joining the OSC Board is not my cup of tea the friends I have made through our 13 moves through 3 countries, 3 children and 6 states are more than just friends- they are my family and will be a part of my life forever. These ladies- and men- are what sustain me through every major transition in my life because they are the only ones who truly understand. I sure hope things have changed for you over the years and that you've stopped being so negative and judgmental-you're not any different or special than the rest of us. Love it, hate it we are all in the same boat. May as well enjoy the cruise- it can be lovely if you let it.

[Confetti00]

I think you are totally right military spouse events suck. and that includes tupperware and pampered chef "parties" and all that boring crap. I suspect a lot of women think they suck but no one says anything.

[Jen]

I just stumbled upon this from another person's blog. this is so true, so funny! If OSC meetings had fun people like you, I would totally go!

[Pam]

Oh that was a good laugh!!

Being a spouses wife I thought when we moved here that I needed to join the spouses club, I was actually hoodwinked into being the Member Chair, but that's a whole other story. Anyway... I slowly slid out of the club and have not looked back. This past year my husbands office added three new spouses when the new men came in. The first of which is a bitch from hell, I tell hubby that she's a commander's wife in training but her hubby's only a Major. Anyway... she was first in line to join the club.

Needless to say I have stayed as far away from them as possible. I can see me trying to talk to them about my love of cleaning horse stables as opposed to their love of Earl Gray Tea.

[maggienwilly.typepad.com]

I just found your blog and love it. I had to laugh at the humor and truth in this post. I had bad expereinces because my husband and I were only living together when one of the "rebel wives" invited me to a party because it was at her house and she did what she wanted (serve real drinks and tea). There are a few good military wives out there, but th crazy ones give everyone a bad rep. Thanks for sayin' like it is!

[Gertie]

I used to be in the military. I always thought it was gross how those groups were called "spouses club" and my husband would get an invite to the next "tea, "dress exchange" or "pajama party". WTF. HELLO? It's not 1955.

[Tova MAFB]

Okay, I know I am a little late but I just have to say,
Gurl you missin out! You need to come see us in Minot! We have drinks and poker tournaments. I am still working on a Sex in the City night but it will be done!!!

BTW I think your hiliarious!

[Teeluvlee]

You're hilarious...where was I two years ago when you were writing this stuff... im cracking up.

[Meghan]

LMAO!
Hilarious.

I can relate.

[Lynn Thiessen]

Life is about perspective and you are missing it. Life is not about what you get out of it, but what you bring to it. That will be your legacy. Your spouse is reaching, striving, and dedicated to something you do not understand or obviously value. I am the daughter, wife, and mother of a Marine...all who have fought, faced terror and loneliness to return to the embrace and understanding support of their spouse. They have given you the right to be so self- righteous. My world is in South Korea, far away from those I love. Momentary reminders of home are welcome, even if they are simple. As vacant as these events may feel for you, I challenge you to raise the level of your interchange to something constructive rather than mocking. What can you offer to unite the spouses in your circle, beyond your ability to whine? Enhance the thesis. In the words of Theodore Roosevelt," It is not the critic that counts: not the manwho points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he failswhile daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." Grow up my dear. It is not all about YOU.

[Jenn]

Oh my gosh this has to be the funniest site I have ever read!
I am a military wife,but by no means do I associate with the military wife lifestyle for the exact reasons that you state in your blog. I have been forced to attend a few "wives meetings",and I learned so much from the other wives especially the one who said to me "Oh I know your husband he is always at my house". Yes, I drove 30 miles all the way to base to hear that.

[Mom101]

"something fun, like play poker, drink wine, or watch Sex and the City."

Um, that would be BLOG HER you're describing there.

[Mrs. Mello]

Hey Kristen,
I read this post and just could not pass it by without a comment or two. I noticed that Carm has already posted a comment too so I'll try to be brief. (Don't worry, we both found your post on our own through Hill's blog.) All I can say is don't judge a book by it's cover. I know the themes of some of these things can be oh-so-lame, however, they are not why people come anyway. Knowing me the way that you do, I'm sure you realize that I would much rather be throwing back vodka tonics or sipping on a dry martini than doing a plant exchange or cooking something for a potluck. However, the reason these women go to these socials is for each other. ...to socialize and support one another. Sometimes it just helps to be reminded that there are other women in the same shitty circumstances as ourselves, and yet, life goes on and we all get through it. And while you may or may not "click" with everyone involved, they are a really wonderful group of people. Get involved and give it a chance before you decide that it has nothing to offer you.
Just so you know, you were missed at the last three socials. A couple of women asked me if you were coming or not. I definitely would have had more fun if you had been there.
And for the record... I did NOT wear a spring hat!!!
~B

[chichimama]

My sister is a military spouse and has similar issues. I feel your pain through her descriptions...

[Meredith]

Go, where a sombrero, bring a cactus, and sneak in a bottle of tequilla. Then blog about it.

[greensunflower]

They dont drink at these things. I think having ANY kind of PARTY or get together without alcohol of all kinds is just STUPID. And I dont even drink that much, but hey who wants to go out and NOT drink?

[Kristen]

Roo ~

1000000 points for using a John Cage reference.

and the same to me for knowing who the heck he is (ah, 40,000K in music college loads aren't for naught, eh).

I'm trying that strawberryshit for sure - and the boots - all about it.

Do they sell those at Penneys? LOL

[sinsamantha]

wow..thats just creepy.
Bring pot brownies to the potluck next time!
Or at least home made wine.
Or there’s this thing called strawberry baked vodka!
Its really good..you fill an oven safe dish with strawberries and pour vodka over them so that their all covered. Then you just leave then to bake on low over night. oh at a higher temp for about 4 hours. Strain, add sugar, and a bit more vodka if you like stronger liqueur. And enjoy.
Their’s also the natural way. You put strawberries and sugar in a jar, pure vodka in and live on a sunny windowsill for a month or two.

I learned this recipe at a church potluck =) Its supposedly a really old Russian drink that was enjoyed by the aristocratic ladies of the court. So who knows maybe it’ll go over well.

[Marlynn]

I like Something Blue's suggestion of wearing fuck me boots instead of spring hats. I think you should go and just wear the boots, period. Is the person who organizes these things 85 years old?

[something blue]

Sounds to me like you should head their social committee.

For the sex toy party be sure to make a large penis shaped cake with extra icing oooozing off the tip.

I'm sure these women would also marvel at pasta shaped penis salad.

Everyone would have to wear fuck me boots instead of spring hats.

[Mama Mia]

Oh man, a spring hat...that's hilarious! I can't imagine the torture of having to don one and then go out in public (though it sounds like you won't be partaking in this event). But anyway, my condolonces.

On another note, maybe you were sent to this military town for a higher purpose. Higher even than starting the undergraduate program and writing the books. Perhaps you're just the person to liberate these women...hmmmm...

[roo]

Now I'm picturing some Cage-esque 4 minutes and twenty-seven seconds of not preparing a meal. The cook walks to the stove, lifts the lid off of a pot, and stands silently, holding a wooden spoon. After the appropriate interval, she puts the lid back on the pot, puts the spoon back on the counter, and leaves the kitchen.

[Jenn]

I vote: LAME!!

Someone has way too much time on their hands to be organising stuff like this... now if they were organising the beer night/striptease thing, that'd be a whole other story. LOL, oh, what WOULD the ladies of the plant exchange say??!!

[tanyetta]

I'm a military spouse and please!!!!!!! invite me when you have the next margarita-dance on the tables-ifyou didn't come already drunk to this party you're a lame A** and if you bring a freaking recipe we'll shoot you party. LOL

I thought I was the only one who avoid those types of parties. Whew (wiping my forehead) as we speak. LOL

[Izzy]

Ugh...the whole thing sounds lame. It took two years before I would go to any of the hub's "fun" work functions.

[Heather]

My fiance is a Canadian reservist, but not hardcore, it's a second job that brings home bacon to pay off student loans. I actually have a spring dinner to go to tomorrow night.

He and I are pretty different- I have a minor in peace studies, he does the army thing, so you can see how I might not really fit in at army functions. I look at it as a people watching experiment, and a couple of his friends and their wives are cool to talk to.

I'd never be caught dead in a spring hat, but I'd confess that I kinda like gardening.

Finally, I'm interested in the mom/my blogger debate and agree the divisiveness is unfortunate. I read blogs that interest me and make me laugh, and if I stumble on one that doesn't do that, I move on to the next one. It's as simple as that.

[Candice]

And you are still on the planet earth, right? Weird. A spring hat? Who comes up with this crap. It's like that movie Stepford wives (I just watched it, so it's in my head). And seriously. I'm with Emily about the sex party, LOL. We got invited to a Pampered Chef party the other night. I couldn't WAIT to get outta there.

[Nixie Knox]

You can always do what my daughter did the other day, make a hat out of paper and tape it to your forehead.

[kvetch blogger]

The Spring Hat was the kicker. I remember going to a doctor's wives social thing many years ago, uh, when I was still married to my ex. You know, when he was still alive. But I digress. I walked in and these women (sorry folks) were ADULTS and in floral dresses, you know, with big lacey collars, and with bows in their hair. I don't mean to be a fashion critic but c'mon.

[mrsfortune]

My husband's just a reservist but he's pretty involved and ON OCCASION I have had to submit myself to these public humiliation sessions masquerading as "socials." I totally feel your pain, woman. A spring hat? WTF is that? I own exactly one hat that isn't the "warm my ears in the freezing cold winter" type, and it's a Detroit Red Wings baseball hat. Well, they play hockey in spring so that counts, right?

[Dawn]

See, I don't even get invited to anything. Cause of the one time I said we should come to the Next function dressed as Nicole and OJ, post murder.

Yeah. Now I am banned from most functions.

You are a good person for going...even some of the time.

[GIRLS GONE CHILD]

That sounds awesome! I love weird shit like that. Dude, you must go all out. Bonnet? Fuck yeah. In fact, wear the apron and the rope around your neck while you're at it. Maybe its just me but any chance I get to wear a funny hat...

Oh and I didn't change my name either. I just couldn't do it.

[The Aitch]

Personally, Most of the military wives I've met are freaks. They either

a) Cheat on their husbands
b) total swingers
c) cheat on the husbands AND Swing

But it goes both ways for all the military men I know. They have mostly all been cheaters and wife beaters.

Again, saying just the 3 out of 5 or so military couples I personally know are like that

[Pattie]

I don't blame you...I don't even own a spring hat. Sounds like you are either in the Twilight Zone or in Stepford....
The first time I went to an event(Holiday party) with my husbands' work associates, I wore a cute, form fitting dress...sequined, no doubt. (sounds tacky, but I LOVED that dress) Anyway, I swear, all the other wives had on business suits and pearls... to a party. ....they STILL talk about that dress...20 years later.

[Nancy]

Ugh, I couldn't do it either. Though you could have some fun showing up in the most outrageous hat possible -- something with little toy figures glued to it, maybe playing cricket or croquet. Then set your plant in a flowerpot on top and give away the whole shebang at the social.

Then run, run away and find some fun pals and enjoy some beer and wings and play a good rousing game of billiards or darts. Or have the sex toy party. I would so be there.

[Chag]

You're not the only one. It sounds pretty lame to me too.

[Lisa B]

How about a booze exchange? I'd go for something like that. But yeah, I LOVE plants but there's no freaking way I would go.

WHen I had a biz, two of the women who worked for me were military wives. They got into the military to find a hubby and now thought they were good enough to be "trophy wives." (I know not all woman in the military think this way.)

One even told me that since her hubby was some high ranking Air FOrce person, she wasn't really allowed to associate with the wives whose hubbies were of lessor rank.... BUt since she was a Christian, she'd associate with them now and again. Gee, how charitable of you. Bitch. Neither one lasted long.

I'm so glad you don't go for that shit.

[mama_tulip]

God, you're killing me, Kristen. Plant exchanges? Spring hats? Pot lucks? Sounds absoutely gruesome, and I'd fake an illness if I had to in order to get out of it.

[Kristen]

I just got busted. LOL. Carm! I emailed you.

And this is what I said:

Basically, there's a big diff between the married sans kids and the moms of the group. I tend to want to hang out more with the non-moms, but since I have kids, I'm not on the "willcall" list ever - we can't go out on the spur of the moment, or trek to cool places to party it up. So I get left out a lot.

I don't have a lot in common (other than a kid) with the moms of the group - and so I'm really stuck in the middle - wanting to do fun stuff but yet, lumped in with the "moms."

I need to call people and set stuff up, but let's face it. They're not calling me - and you can only make the effort so much -then you want other people to call.

[Carm]

Hey,
As someone who just left CAFB and did attend the Social's, I think you should give it a try! I do agree that some of the themes sound pretty lame, but you do not have to wear a Spring hat or always participate in the theme. There are some really great women there, and there may be someone who is looking for the same type of friendship that you are looking for. You just need to give it a try and that is how you will meet people and get to know them personally. The social's sometimes do have fun theme's, we've had a wine tasting social and if you sign up to host you can come up with your own theme.
If anything it is a way to meet people, it doesn't need to be about making your husband look good. For me it was a way to meet some great friends who understood what I was going through and to just have fun with. I still talk to all of them once a week. While I was there my group of girlfriends would get together every Sunday to have dinner/drinks and watch Despereate Housewives and in the summertime we would do the same thing and watch DVD'S of Sex and the City. So it def couldn't hurt to try it a couple of times. Anyway those are my thoughts for what it's worth and the 41st has some great and fun women, I think. If you want to talk more about it or want some more intel on the women you can e-mail me. I think you have my address. So maybe I'll hear from you soon.

[Kristi]

Spouses socials suck ass! I avoid them as much as I can, but get the guilt trip from my husband when I refuse to go. Though we haven't been required to bring plants and bonnets, we play the silly game of "Bunko" (a dice game sort of like Yahtzee where you rotate around the tables to socialize with people you don't want to and end up talking about how many mini-bunkos you have. So, entertaining and stimulating. NOT). I would really rather get my pubic hair ripped out than go to these "coffees" as we call them.
When I first got married, I really had a hard time associating with being a military spouse. It was a job my husband had, not our life; it didn't define us. As the years pass, I realize the importance of knowing your unit, or at least a few people in it. Though I am completely independent and capable of taking care of anything in the event my husband is deployed to war, I agree with the whole military support groups. But, they don't have to be so damn boring and courteous and structured and disciplined.
My husband will one day, sooner rather than later, be a batallion commander and as such, I will be "forced" into the position of an FRG leader (Family Readines Group, I don't know if they are called the same in the Air Force). I only hope that I can rally the spouses in more informal and fun ways. You have to tiptoe around so much these days so as to not offend anyone, but really it is offensive to think that we spouses want to sit around sipping tea with our pinkies sticking out. I definitely say bring out the sombrero, margaritas and karaoke.

[Kristen]

I would have worn the sombrero. Fuck it. I would have laughed the entire time. LOL. I say next time, do it. And post about it later. LOL.

[Kristen]

Krista ~ You are so awesome! Seriously, that is really what I should do instead of sitting her on my slightly larger ass. Although bitching is quite fun, you are right, I'm here so I might as well be proactive.

Sex toy party anyone? :)

[krista]

I could very easily join in and bash this with you Kristen, because I too think these things are lame- but the fact is youa re stuck there for now right, so is there any way to make it more fun?

Like, can you suggest the next theme, and make it something you can stand? Maybe suggest a murder mystery party? At least then even if they are boring people they will have to pretend to be someone else?

I don't know. I'm just trying to think of ways you can be happier there.

[jozet]

I'd go if it were an evening of Bollywood dance lessons or maybe a dress-in-drag paty.

I know that there are crazy women out there - I mean, crazy-like-me crazy - and they too are either not going or suffering through...Maybe there needs to be a national coming out day so we know who each other are.

Or a secret sign. Or code phrase to recognize each other.

"Hello! My name is Jozet! Do you screw blue food? *wink, wink*"

[Her Bad Mother]

What circle of hell are you living in? I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

The horrors of spring hat parties are part of my own professional dilemma, BTW - I've been offered Very Good academic jobs in Buttfuck, Canada and PokeMe, USA but have not taken them because, um, the plant exchanges. That, and the Husband would have to give up his career in TV and start his own knitting circle. So I languish without tenure at a Big University in a Big City.

But I'm not feeling so conflicted about that now, having read your post...

[Kristen]

I'm a CAFB, Julie. Ironically, my dad was stationed at Keesler as an enlisted 18 year old way back when.

[Melissa R]

Our spouses association is so not like that one bit. One year we all got together and did a tour of wineries in the area. We do a girl's night out every month and they are actually fun sounding. I say sounding because I have not been in forever becasue of the kids. I do want to start getting more active. I think you wopuld get shot for suggesing someone wear their favorite spring hat to an event.

[redneck mommy]

Part of the reason I moved out to the sticks was because I don't play nice with other people. Especially grown-up people who insist on wearing funny hats, having pot-luck dinners and exchanging plant material that cannot be smoked...

If you absolutely must go, I'd advise downing a shot or two, donning the sombraro and bringing along a digital camera. Could be fun.

Or at the very least, it would provide all of your loyal fans with hours of endless amusement!

[Julie]

Are you in the OWC or what? Or are these squadron functions? You aren't at Keesler AFB, but Columbus AFB, right? Either way - yuck.

I would just ditch. Regardless of whether or not your husband's in the shithouse (and you had better not let him out anytime soon - I'm still mad at him). If you're not enjoying these outings, then you're not doing yourself OR him any favors by attending.

Why are they such sticks in the mud down there? I had a great time at all the military functions I attended - we drank and got silly and had fun.

[radmama]

A lot of "grown up women social events" seem to be lame like that.. even up here in Canada.

Even my interesting, eclectic LLL crowd turned to simpering idiots at Tupperware, Fantasia and Usborne parties.

Some of my "parent" friends here hit the pub while the kidlets play at the school gym on Friday nights. Now THAT is the kind of social I like.

[MetroDad]

Plant exchanges? Spring hat parties? Recipe swaps? Holy crap, Kristen! It's like the Stepford Wives meet Gomer Pyle and Leave It To Beaver! Not in a million years could I picture you at any of those social events. Poor girl. Isn't there anyone there who shares your sense of humor or is as cool as you? There's got to be 1-2, right? No? Awww..fuck it then. Just keeep showing up drunk until the hubs no longer requests your presence at these things. Good luck!

[Fidget]

Spring hat, please refer to the book Daisey Head Maisey MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Hmm Maybe a bee keepers hat? i can't imagine much hone harveting happens in teh winter thusly making a a "spring" hat.. and you would have the added bonus of teh protective netting shielding you from contracting "military wife" disease. My SIL was a military wife for a while and was appalled at how happily many of the women threw themselves into compulsive banner making, socials, knitting scarves for the troops, etc. SHe mostly coward in her on base digs and refused to leave for weeks at a time fearing that it my be family lobotomy day on the base

[Kristen]

And thank you for pointing that out - the male spouses - Christina - Now, I'm even more pissed.

Lucinda - next month - there's always next month... :)

[Kristen]

J ~ That's the special plant I was referring too? I wonder if you can smoke a fern? LOL

[Christina]

Gotta agree with Emily - I had no idea they hadn't left the 1950's down there.

A spring hat? LOL! What about men who are military spouses? Are they supposed to show up in an apron and spring bonnet as well?

My favorite recipie, hmmm, let's see. 1. Pick up phone and call 888-8888. 2. Place order for large pepperoni & mushroom pizza. 3. Prepare alcoholic beverage of choice. 4. Pay delivery man and enjoy!

Seriously, I think these women need a sex toys party. Maybe you should suggest it for next time. And add, "If your husbands are anything like mine, then you can see why we need this party!"

[Lucinda]

I agree that you are obligated to go to this party in a funny hat, with a venus flytrap, for the sake of the blog. If you really love me, you'll do it.

[Becky]

Apparently you need to get your hubby to move overseas...we have the fun "military wive parties" they always provide wine..heck we are in Germany I think it's a jailing offense not to...and we have the boring stuff but then we get to the not so boring..ex: Passion Parties/Slumber Parties...
However, I want to know who put it into these peoples minds about the hat thing..our social people want to have a tea party and for us to wear hats and white gloves..WTF..oh well as long as they give me free wine/liquor I'll be good :D

[j.]

What about walking in, wearing a flowery, gaudy-as-hell Easter bonnet, and carrying a huge pot plant for the exchange?
That would go over well.

[Emily]

First off, I would TOTALLY pay good money to see you in a bonnet...seriously...LOL

Yea, those parties seam...um..fun. Its actually pretty interesting, because until now I didn't realized you actually lived in the 1950s. ;)

Maybe I am not the best to offer opinions, being fairly recluse-sh myself, but I would have more fun at a dental appointment. My old neighborhood had a group of ladies that met for fun and book night(an hour of some game that I can't remember now, and then an hour of something else like tupperware parties or flower arranging lessons) and I always avoiding those, thinking they sounded fairly lame. Maybe we are just a little snobby when it comes to things likw that, but just because I am Susie Homemaker, doesn't mean I want to celebrate being Susie Homemaker. A night out, away from the dishes, the diapers, and the backed up toilets I think should be something FUN, something "OMG I could never have done that with the kids around!"...

I wish we all lived closer. We could throw one of those tupperware-type parties that are really for sex toys, then do the belly dancing class and head home half drunk with giant, purple vibes in our handbags and tell our hubs we had a great night.