Dear Pimp Daddies (as stated on your back windshield):
I realize that perhaps you had some urgent business at Marilyn's Cottage, home of the only Mississippi State baby cheerleader uniforms in town, which led you to leave your car running, with windows rolled down, almost nearly blocking in my car. Maybe you were unable to see the diagonal white lines and 14 other cars parked within them. I'm the first to admit that vision loss happens to the best of us.
And while I appreciate you sharing your very kickin' rap grooves, particular the lovely bass beats, with the entire state of Mississippi, I think that perhaps you might have considered actually parking in a real spot. I know the cheerleading uniforms can be a bit overwhelming and might take more than the 5 minutes you planned on spending perusing the various pom poms and letterman tops, however, what you didn't realize (I'm thinking due to your excitement over the two-piece burgundy number with silver and white wristlets) was that you nearly parked me in.
While I did think about trying to find you, I didn't feel like wandering around in 95 degree weather with a toddler on my hip. I even considered just backing right into your car or better, driving it around the block and leaving it in another spot, legally parked, of course. However, I figured that might be called "stealing," and not feeling the desire for a visit to the big house today, I decided against it.
So, rather than damage my own car or reputation for that matter, I wanted to let you know that after I squeaked by your car (due to my amazing driving prowess), I was indeed the one who rolled up your windows and locked your car doors.
Based on the appearance of your car and the questionable contents, I have a feeling you didn't have a hard time
breaking in re-entering your vehicle. And honestly, I hope that it caused you just enough of an inconvenience to never ever do that again, particularly to a new mother with PMS, a cranky toddler, and a very very bad hair day.