Mother's Mail Bag
Nothing yells DAMN YOU SUCK AS A MOTHER than the sight of your mismatched pink-wearing, daddy-sock covered, purple-casted daughter amidst the sea of beautifully St. Paddy's Day clad children at her music class. Feh.
So, just when I was about to join our town crazy lady with my OWN baby carriage full of all my belongings, four hats, and a bad case of bright pink lipstick in her daily stroll times 42 around town, I came home to find some lovely emails from my readers. I guess you all are curious about what makes me tick and let's face it - I'm flattered. So, I've decided to follow in the footsteps of MetroDad and share with you my mail bag. Granted, it's only two emails, but hey, you've got to start somewhere.
From Varya Albarado ~ Is your dog's penis bigger than your husband's?
Well, Varya. I can't say that I've looked at my dog's penis in awhile - and quite frankly, I haven't really looked at my husband's either - at least up close in the light, that is. But, based on my uncanny memory for dicks regardless of how memorable THEY were, I'm going to have to say NO to that one.
From Akira Seltzer ~ Are you tired of having your best sex on the phone?
I do admit that my conversations with sexy-voiced Justin at OmahaSteaks about big beef sausages and large pieces of meat may sound like some hot phone sex, I have to say that I actually don't have sex on the phone these days. With the phone on vibrate/meeting mode, yes. And Akira, THAT is getting a bit tiresome.
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So there you have it, folks. If you have any questions for me, please feel free to email them to me at kmei26 at yahoo.com - and make sure to specify BULK MAIL folder.
And, Happy Saint Paddy's Day. Enjoy the green. I'm trying to make up for my bad showing at music class. I'm going to follow suit of my pal Fancypants tonight. And click on my renter, will you? Send out some green love.
What's up with the sex questions? All I ever get is "how to make a shank"..
Posted by: Dawn | March 18, 2006 at 08:56 PM
Ha ha! Great way to turn something annoying into something hilarious. :)
Posted by: Lucinda | March 18, 2006 at 09:29 AM
Actually, SPM, she is a 1/4 Irish of the real celebrating kind - my inlaws go crazy - my MIL is a member of the Irish club and they make homemade Irish potatoes...
But hopefully she'll just take up the Asian side...
Posted by: Kristen | March 18, 2006 at 08:32 AM
awesome! happy green day!
Posted by: jess | March 18, 2006 at 01:32 AM
love the St Pat's look!
pshaw on the crazy moms that dress up their kids...your kid will be glad not to have those crazy photos haunting them later!
Posted by: chelle | March 17, 2006 at 09:38 PM
Who would subject their child to a St. Paddy's Day outfit??!!
Believe me, your daughter will thank you for abstaining from this one.
(Providing she doesn't marry an Irish guy.)
Posted by: sweatpantsmom | March 17, 2006 at 08:04 PM
Thanks for the chuckle on this lame-ass day from heck. :-) I get similar inquiries all the time, so I feel ya. And the dog.
Posted by: mrsfortune | March 17, 2006 at 04:52 PM
Love the green. Thanks for the Irish shout out.
Posted by: Carolyn | March 17, 2006 at 02:24 PM
Oh my god, for a minute I thought those were serious emails. Then it dawned on me. And I did laugh heartily indeed.
Posted by: the other white meat...I mean Jess | March 17, 2006 at 01:12 PM
woman, you crack me up.
Posted by: stella | March 17, 2006 at 12:42 PM
Akira Seltzer. I think I'm going to name my next child after her (him?) Or possibly my future dog.
Posted by: Nancy | March 17, 2006 at 12:16 PM
We'll have a virtual pint together.
How sweet of Akira and Varya . . .
Posted by: jess | March 17, 2006 at 11:36 AM