O-O-O-lympics

I hope I'm not the only one who is severely disappointed with the Olympics coverage and US performance. Night after night, I watch constantly interrupted events, piss-poor commentary, and FALLS. Lots of FALLS. Is there an American out there that can stay standing on the ice or snow and NOT FALL DOWN?

What is with the damn commercials? The only ones I like are the coke cheerleaders, and they really only get a mild chuckle out of me. I'm sick of seeing ONE skater come across the ice and then 14 awful commercials. Last night, Dick Button announced that we would see FOUR whole skaters without a commercial break. WHOA. I nearly FELL out of my seat (I am an American, afterall).

And, has anyone looked at Bob Costas lately? Someone should really tell him to get OFF the speed and DARKTAN foundation. Blinking is always a good thing - and while I know I'm a sight for sore eyes, seriously, STOP STARING AT ME. When did Katie Couric get some type of facelift-botox-collagen treatment? I'm lost in Playhouse Disney World every morning, so her presence has not graced my television in awhile.

Other than the mildly enjoyable banter of Dick Button and Scott Hamilton, I would prefer to watch the skating (or more like falling with a little bit of skating) sans the crazy female lady whatever her name may be. Can she be ANY MORE negative? "Oh well, his career is ruined now" or "That mistake cost him his life as a professional skater" or "That was the ugliest jump I have ever seen a human being do."

Okay, I'm exaggerating a little, but still, have you listened to her? I mean, it's obvious he won't be doing well since his ass is shining the ice - we can kind of figure that out, but do you need to make us ALL feel like shit? And, I think we have finally figured out the new scoring system - it's really not that hard. Oh, and PS, IT SUCKS.

And finally, can ANYONE from the US win something? Doesn't have to be gold people... But, like maybe make it in the top 5?! They look like they have NEVER been on skis or skates before. This is the ice. You skate and jump on it. You land ON YOUR FEET. Any questions? And I'm not trying to be mean to just the US - because really, it doesn't seem like anyone is doing well (I'm an equal opportunity bitterness-spreader). The Russian skating dude won the gold last night because pretty much HE DIDN'T FALL DOWN. He jumped and waved his arms. No beautiful choreography. No masterful interpretation. He just stayed on his feet.

Hey, I know I won't be winning any medals - unless they are for BITCHING, CRYING, or BAKED-LAYS-BAG DIVING (but that's more of a summer event I guess).

PS. Have you seen this MAN? He's a gold medal winner. He did not fall down. And, me likey. Me really really likey.

Comments

[knq]

So much for no falling in ice dancing... CRIPEY!

[Beth]

Ha!! yeah- what is UP with the skating commentary:

Scott: "Oooh! He did a double instead of a triple!"

The Snarky Girl: "Well, obviously, he will have to commit ritual suicide after this skate. I mean, really, a double?!"

oh, yeah, and I get to share the same state as Seth Wes-Hott. Breathing the same air. Yessss, indeed.

[knq]

blalahahahaha good one on the bode miller - for real!

[Kristen]

Oh, the commentary is just hilarious. And not in a good way. You're right about that one woman in the ice skating. She makes the snarkiest comments I've ever heard. She was talking about this one male skater (who had fallen sooo many times) and said that his competitors would "find him a real threat if he ever learned to really compete." But it has been awful to watch. Everyone is falling down. I was hoping Bode Miller would finish at least one race, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. At least we now know how beautifully he can glide down the mountain on one ski. Perhaps HE should consider ice skating...

[knq]

Cori - I seriously did not notice that - but thank you, it will give me something to avert his creepy eye contact. AND, Mr. WestHOTTY (nice one, BTW) can come over and BUILD MY HOUSE - if you get my meaning LOL

[mrsfortune]

Can somebody please tell Bob Costas that his freakin' sideburns are a DIFFERENT COLOR than the rest of his hair??? Doesn't Just For Men make like ... a side burn kit or something? Come on, Costas! Get with the program here ...

Oh, and not only is Seth West-Hott a major hottie, he owns a bazillion acres of land in Maine where he's building a house with his bare hands. And then he's going to go and kill all the animals on that land in hand-to-hand combat cuz he's just that type of hotty. Westcott-y the Westhott-y.

[knq]

Kyra - How about the snowboarder who didn't care about her weight OR winning the gold? I love all the snowboarders because they always look pretty stoned - one too many shrooms man...

Izzy - I was hoping for Kwan as well - her "fields of gold" exhibition from SLC in 2002 was really touching (plus Eva Cassidy rocks) and you are right, there is really NO ONE else out there that has her artistry or charisma. Okay, they are all CRAP...

bring on da swimmers!

[kyra]

okay, that was very funny! especially about bob costas and the staring. it's true. and i, for one, am cheering on the falls. it's so DRAMATIC! and amazing to see just how quickly they pop back up! like magic! what stands out during the winter olympics for me is the ENTHUSIASM! everyone is always SHOUTING and clearly on the edge of their seats! it's so unnerving ! and exhilerating! look! snow! and ice! and very young female snow boarders who are not worrying about their weight!

[Izzy]

Okay. Closet competetive figure skating fanatic here. The coverage blows and the commentators are SO mean. Thank God the skaters can't hear it. Since Michelle Kwan dropped out I am not nearly as interested. This was going to be the year she finally got the gold medal, dammit! Not interested in snooty Sasha Cohen or the other Hughes sister. Thank God red-faced Irina Slutiskaya (sp) isn't around or the flailing and utterly ungraceful Tara Lipinski. And yes, can ya'll try and stay off your asses, please? God. No hotties this year for me. I'm still all over those swimmers from the summer Olympics...mmmm.

[knq]

Oh shit - yes, the damn conviction show. Like the bailiff is really going to tell you how much to ask for bail. Hello??

Another state colleger - I hail from the N to the J - and I'm an etown grad... heh. Harrisburg ROCKS dude. LOL.

[Lisaopolis]

Agreed, Oly coverage is LAME-O. I have found that all they do is TELL you what is coming up but then never really show it. You can get the results on NBC's website for events they may show two days later. Weird. I also found Mr. Button's comment to be -hillare-.

In times like these I miss the "Eurosport" network, with equal opportunity coverage (from Latvian curling to Portuguese biathalon to Finnish short track to Slovak snowboarding, sigh...) with minimal other junk to distract.

Bob Costas dyes his hair! It's blacker than usual.

But those Coke ads are indeed cute and I'm all on board for NBC's new startling drama "Conviction" because I've seen those ads at least 87, 534 times.

[knq]

You're kind - you have email!

[stefanierj]

I was actually looking for the buttons, but I missed 'em--I'm dumb like dat. Can you email me one at stefanierj at yahoo dot com? Don't care what kind...

[knq]

Thanks - and I was going to say the same thing about the commentary - although when they just showed the computer diagram of the rink and the dance steps, well, they lost me.

And, thanks about the shirts. You can always put a button on your website... :) I'm so NOT subtle, huh?

[knq]

Christina - I think you missed all his events - but you can always admire from afar via his various websites. Sexy sexy.

[knq]

GGC - She totally ate shit (I like that, I'm using that and the cute-ture now). The Chinese guy had just had achilles tendon surgery. Cripey. I like when they win because then they get to go home to see their families for more than a week and they get money and a roof over their head.

TB - LMAO. True dat.

PS - American skiier - just fell. Ice dancing - there's not jumping - let's hope no FALLS!

[stefanierj]

OMG, I could have written this fuh-reaking post. WHY does every sentence by Skating Commentator Girl begin with "Under the new scoring system," and is usually followed by "that will cost him 4.37654 points."

I'm watching the ice dancing now. The commentators are a tad more bearable, but the sport is pretty lay-hame.

Love your shirts. I just need to think of some reason to make hubs buy me one.

[TB]

You are so right. Bob Costas and Katie Couric both look like the living dead right now. Seriously, they could be extras in a Romero film.

[girls gone child]

I always root for the underdogs, like Jamaica a la bobsledding therefor I have never really rooted for the US. (Unless I was watching marathons in the summer olympics with my dad but that was a personal thing.)

Did you see the Chinese pair skating? The bitch ate shit and got back on the horse and they won the silver. THATs the good stuff.

[Christina]

Holy shit, that guy is hot! OK, now he could make me start tuning in to watch the Olympics.

[knq]

I know, Jess, I totally just check the scores on yahoo and then decide if it's worthwhile... And Mr. Westcott is hhhooooottttttt.

CityS - soon they will be over... seems like they are going on forever though!!!

[Cityslicker mom]

Since I'm not so much into the olympics this year,my issue is more like: jeez, i'm missing my favorite shows! how long does this last!!! :)

[Jess R]

Duuuuude!!! I was just looking at Mr. Westcott last night and trying to picture him in regular clothes. And then, out of them.

And you know, once anyone falls on the ice, I immediately lose interest in the rest of their routine. I'm all, "Oops, they just lost me" and I wander off to do something else. (Wow, that sounds terrible, now that I reread it! How shallow! LOL)

[Dawn]

Well, we're busy leaving no child behind - we can't coordinate all this other shit too....

[knq]

Honey, I can eat French Onion with a SPOON.

And seriously though, I was just looking for a beer to go with my chips. I figure there's no time like the present to start drinking (1pm on Friday).

[Mama! Mama!]

Ha. Ha. I would have laughed so hard a beverage came out of my nose....but we have no beverages...or food of any kind in my house at this moment.

And I kick ass at Lays (hold the baked, add the oil) bag diving. You should see my big finish into a bowl of french onion dip. It is a sight to behold. Damn, I'm hungry.