You Know You Live in EBF when...

Many of you have heard me gripe and complain about where I live. Granted, I chose to move here - and I met my husband here, had my daughter here, and well, have made a pretty good life here. Living is cheap (hell, there are NO stores to shop in), there's fried food a plenty, and it's warm most of the year.

BUT, don't let all that sweet sappy shit fool you! When have you EVER thought about Mississippi?? - most people don't even know the state abbreviation for it (I've been asked at least 10 times by various folks)! Let's be frank here --  no one, other than the people who live here or are from here, thinks about Mississippi - and there are PLENTY O' REASONS. I will get into them later. Wait - let me give you a little taste: Separate black and white homecoming courts, paying for your restaurant meal with a CHECK, and bars closing early on Saturday nights due to - you guessed it - CHURCH ON SUNDAYS. Now I have your attention... HA!

So, here we go... You know you live in East Bumble Fuck WHEN you have to drive 1.5 hours (60 miles) on a crappy 2-4-2-4-2 lane 35-45-55-65-35 mph road, through towns called Gordo and Reform (pronounced REEEEEEEEEform), behind disgusting chicken trucks (where feathers fly out at you - STINKY), with a COOLER in your trunk and a wiry 17 month old strapped in her car seat JUST to go to... dadadadum...

TARGET - okay, so there's a Starbucks IN it and it's a super target so they have groceries (awesome ones). BUT yup - TARGET.

P.S. My friend HILS drove this everyday just to get to work. Danny owes you big time, my dear.

Comments

[WTF?]

Where the hell did you people get your information from? Holy shit! It is like ya'll ("you all" for non southerners) got these opinions from the "Big Book-o-Cliches". True, Mississippi has many problems,but we are like many states in the Deep South. We have a lot of poor, not-so-well educated people living throughout the state, a hot sub-tropical climate (at least we don't freeze our balls off in the winter), and yes, lots of us live out in No Mans Land. But you know what? I like it here. I live in the middle of no-where, but only about 15 min from a large town. I have a bunch of friends (white, black, and latino) all of them high school grads with some college education (many of them dropped out and joined the military to earn more money for college). Every single one of them has jobs, and they work hard too. I was not raised to hate anyone who looked or thought differently than me. When I drive down the open, traffic-free highway, I wave at people going the opposite direction (and here is the funny part haters) they wave back. If I am sick, I can go to one of 3 hospitals in town. If I need to shop, I can go to Walmart, the mall, or one of many specialty shops. If I am hungry, I can eat at a fast food joint, a chain-restraurant, or a mom and pop eatery. If I go into any of these places, the door is held open for me (and I extend the same courtesy for others). But enough about all that. Mississippi isn't a bad place to live. The people here are, for the most part, nice, warm, hard working people. These so called "red-necks" exist, but they are some of the nicest sons-a-bitches that you will ever have the luck to know. I got stuck on a dirt road once, and some old redneck pulled me out with his old rusty ford mud-boggin truck. He didn't ask for anything, he just saw that I needed help and helped me. If you needed any more proof that these were good people, you just need to look up how much Mississippians give up to charity each year when compared to wealthier states. You people like to look down on Mississippi, but I don't think that you wanted to like the state in the first place. If you ignorant fucks are going to hate us, then do, there is nothing we can do to stop you; but to the less shit brained people in the world, come and visit us. We are good people.

[MCGrad]

Ok, so I've lived in Mississippi my whole life and I'll admit it's not the most exciting place in the world. But ya' know what? You're going to find ignorant, rude, and just plain unpleasant people everywhere. Can you honestly say that you didn't meet at least one decent person the whole time you were in Mississippi? Seriously! I just stumbled upon this site and I usually don't respond to these things but I'm offended. One of my dearest friends is from Illinois from a more podunk town than we live in now. Despite the fact that she thought we didn't wear shoes when she moved here, she's really loving it down here. I have all of my teeth, a closet full of shoes, I'm going back for my master's degree and I am neither a crackhead nor pregnant. When you make generalizations about the south it just opens up more room for the south to make generalizations about the north, like saying you're a bunch of snobs who judge us. Oh wait...tha'ts kind of what this whole blog is about. Hmmm.....

[Shamrock777 03]

I grew up in Mississippi. Thank God he created me to go against the grain and a free spirit, because then I would be just like all the unintelligent majority of ingrates that inhabit this cesspool of a state. Everyone has to act a certain way. You are supposed to go "huntin", like country music, be a protestant, and go swimming in water that you can't even see an inch into. I always swore that I would get the hell out of Mississippi and that I would not marry anyone from this state. Well,I married a awesome man from Oregon, and was able to get out of that God forsaken shit hole known as Mississippi. Oregon is paradise. There are beautiful mountains, waterfalls, rolling hills of wheat, orchards full of cherry, apricot, and apple blossoms, fields full of lavender and tulips, beautiful rocky cliffs on our coastline, rocks on our ocean shores covered in beautiful starfish, and I could go on forever. Mississippi is not hospitable, that is a lie. They are rude to people they consider "outsiders", which is anyone who doesn't fit into the dismentia that is their constant mental state. They called my husband I yankees when we are from Oregon, LOL, which only proves that they have no fucking clue what the geography of their own fucking country is. I am stuck here in this hell hole again, and only look forward to the day when I get to return to my beautiful Pacific Northwest. And, to all of you Mississippi folks that keep trying to make this state out as though it actually were worth a shit, give it up. You all live in your own little redneck la la land. You can have your precious shit hole of a state.

[OrrCharlene]

It is cool that we can receive the business loans moreover, it opens up completely new opportunities.

[Jordan Leigh]

YOUR ARE FUCKING STUPID!! I LOVE MISSISSIPPI!! IF YOU DONT LEAVE!! WE DONT FUCKING LIKE YOU!!

[Some guy that thinks mississippi is fucked up]

Man. I've said it once. Ill say it again. FUCK MISSISSIPPI.

[Some guy that thinks mississippi is fucked up]

Mississippi is one desolate, fucking cesspool of moronic fags. Im in Madison/Gluxdat(who the fuck care how you spell it). I used 2 live in Chicago, like one of the previous commenters. Now, i wake up every day, and ask myself "WHY THE FUCK DID FATE PUT ME IN THIS SHITTY STATE?" Of all the places in the world, WHY THE FUCK WAS I PUT HERE? At my high school, its even fucking worse. ITS LIKE A FUCKING TOBY KEITH CONCERT EVERY DAY. I go 2 school with people that have 3 legs and 8 teeth. The people here don't aspire to be doctors, accountants, CEO's of corporations, or even to get a real FUCKING JOB. These dumbfucks just wanna be PRO HUNTERS. Thats right. All these cunts talk about is hunting,(fucking their cousins lol), Country music, racism, fishing, catfish, and other shit that is FUCKED UP. Who gives a fuck about Brett Farve? I bet none of these dumbfucks in Mississippi could pronounce that name! The Mannings? Fuck them! Oprah? fuck her. BB King pretty badass though. Ever heard of Kurt Cobain? Katt Williams? Francis Ford Coppola? Bill Gates? Steve Jobs? Neil Patrick Harris? Dave Chappelle? (you might or might have not heard of these people) Donald Glover? DC Pierson? Meggie McFadden? Dominic Dierkes? Dan Eckman? BTW i wish they would have screened Mystery Team in MS. David Grohl? Barack Obama? None of them are from Mississippi! I bet Michael Jackson keels in his fucking grave whenever thinking about Mississippi. Kids here say any religion but Christianity is not true, and they follow up by saying that anyone who doesnt believe in Christianity will go to hell. Thats what turned me off of Christianity. Well, its still good to be agnostic. How about some National records, shall we? MS stands as #1 obese state in the nation? And thats just fucking great. How bout another one? Mississippi also holds as the nations poorest, and fucking stupidest state in the nation. Wow. Fucking awesome isn't it? My fucking skinhead guidance counselor, i don't know if he's a skinhead, but he's bald and looks an awful like one, he has a Fucking Passion Of the FUCKING Christ poster in his office. BTW i hate Mel Gibson he's fucked up, Does he not have any fucking respect for The Jewish Culture?(referring to my guidance counselor, but also Mel Gibson) Mississippi SMOKES COCK. PERIOD. A quote from the movie "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" referring to Mississippi-"All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers(technically not possible)while you watch and cry like little bitches.We're gonna make 'em eat our shit,(again technically not possible) then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next.(referring to Alabama, Kentucky.) Love, Jay and Silent Bob." which is actually quite a disturbing quote if you ask me, but im pissed the fuck off, and i don't think anyone gives a fuck on this site what i write. I also hear this is the "Hospitality" state. Man I'd shit on the motherfuckers mom who made that statement up. The only "Hospitality" were getting is the fucking KKK in our asses 24/7. Yeah, and also, FUCK THE KKK. Man, Yankee places were so fucking much better. Katrina should come wipe this fucking place off the U.S. Man, have i ever, wish you'd come Katrina! Also i have a message to all those people who are like "MS is a good state" on this thread. GET THE FUCK OFF. If u havent fucking noticed, this is about Hating MS, not liking it. How the fuck do you even find sites like this when you actually like this fucking place you call a "state". Why don't you mississippi lovers go back to watching fishing on ESPN, or shooting a bunch of fucking deers, or just plain fucking your own, cousin, even though thats politically incorrect. I could go on and on about how much Mississippi is such a fucked up state, but i'll keep my message frank and short. FUCK MISSISSIPPI. FUCK THESE FUCKING REDNECKS. FUCK THESE CAMO WEARING MOTHERFUCKERS! Now if you excuse me, I've gotta go 2 my job, something that many "True" Mississippians don't have.

[Some guy that thinks mississippi is fucked up]

I totally agree with you. Mississippi is one desolate, fucking cesspool of moronic fags. Im in Madison/Gluxdat(who the fuck care how you spell it). I used 2 live in Chicago, like one of the previous commenters. Now, i wake up every day, and ask myself "WHY THE FUCK DID FATE PUT ME IN THIS SHITTY STATE?" Of all the places in the world, WHY THE FUCK WAS I PUT HERE? At my high school, its even fucking worse. ITS LIKE A FUCKING TOBY KEITH CONCERT EVERY DAY. I go 2 school with people that have 3 legs and 8 teeth. The people here don't aspire to be doctors, accountants, CEO's of corporations, or even to get a real FUCKING JOB. These dumbfucks just wanna be PRO HUNTERS. Thats right. All these cunts talk about is hunting,(fucking their cousins lol), Country music, racism, fishing, catfish, and other shit that is FUCKED UP. Who gives a fuck about Brett Farve? I bet none of these dumbfucks in Mississippi could pronounce that name! The Mannings? Fuck them! Oprah? fuck her. BB King pretty badass though. Ever heard of Kurt Cobain? Katt Williams? Francis Ford Coppola? Bill Gates? Steve Jobs? Neil Patrick Harris? Dave Chappelle? (you might or might have not heard of these people) Donald Glover? DC Pierson? Meggie McFadden? Dominic Dierkes? Dan Eckman? BTW i wish they would have screened Mystery Team in MS. David Grohl? Barack Obama? None of them are from Mississippi! I bet Michael Jackson keels in his fucking grave whenever thinking about Mississippi. Kids here say any religion but Christianity is not true, and they follow up by saying that anyone who doesnt believe in Christianity will go to hell. Thats what turned me off of Christianity. Well, its still good to be agnostic. How about some National records, shall we? MS stands as #1 obese state in the nation? And thats just fucking great. How bout another one? Mississippi also holds as the nations poorest, and fucking stupidest state in the nation. Wow. Fucking awesome isn't it? My fucking skinhead guidance counselor, i don't know if he's a skinhead, but he's bald and looks an awful like one, he has a Fucking Passion Of the FUCKING Christ poster in his office. BTW i hate Mel Gibson he's fucked up, Does he not have any fucking respect for The Jewish Culture?(referring to my guidance counselor, but also Mel Gibson) Mississippi SMOKES COCK. PERIOD. A quote from the movie "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" referring to Mississippi-"All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers(technically not possible)while you watch and cry like little bitches.We're gonna make 'em eat our shit,(again technically not possible) then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next.(referring to Alabama, Kentucky.) Love, Jay and Silent Bob." which is actually quite a disturbing quote if you ask me, but im pissed the fuck off, and i don't think anyone gives a fuck on this site what i write. I also hear this is the "Hospitality" state. Man I'd shit on the motherfuckers mom who made that statement up. The only "Hospitality" were getting is the fucking KKK in our asses 24/7. Yeah, and also, FUCK THE KKK. Man, Yankee places were so fucking much better. Katrina should come wipe this fucking place off the U.S. Man, have i ever, wish you'd come Katrina! Also i have a message to all those people who are like "MS is a good state" on this thread. GET THE FUCK OFF. If u havent fucking noticed, this is about Hating MS, not liking it. How the fuck do you even find sites like this when you actually like this fucking place you call a "state". Why don't you mississippi lovers go back to watching fishing on ESPN, or shooting a bunch of fucking deers, or just plain fucking your own, cousin, even though thats politically incorrect. I could go on and on about how much Mississippi is such a fucked up state, but i'll keep my message frank and short. FUCK MISSISSIPPI. FUCK THESE FUCKING REDNECKS. FUCK THESE CAMO WEARING MOTHERFUCKERS! Now if you excuse me, I've gotta go 2 my job, something that many "True" Mississippians don't have.

[MS SUCKS!]

The entire state is a cesspool. I live in Gulfport, Ms and if it weren't for the military this shit hole would be a ghost town.I've never known of a town so unappreciative of their men in uniform.Regardless, Gulfport along with the entire State has nothing to offer i.e.,jobs,shopping,entertainment(other than casinos). The so called educated people, just wait until they open they're mouths. You can take the man out the backwoods, but you can't take the backwoods out the man!

[terry faukin]

Yo maybe all of this si tru about north Missisisppi. but from biloxi lives right on the bay, neigbor to the rights a lwyer, to the left a docter. Not all people are dumd. Wherever state you go to their are always bad places and dumb people.

[Richard]

I lived in Biloxi for 9 1/2 years and from Chicago. I hate that fucking state. Most uneducated people in the country. I would tell people I was from Chicago and the asked me how life was in Canada. Southern hospitality only applies to Southerners. No jobs, everyone is a HS drop out, the women were all whores who would brag how about how they falsely accuesed their ex's of domestic violance. And they still talk that civil war shit like yesterday's news. If the south were an actual body, mississippi would be the asshole. Fuck that south and Mississippi! Before I lived down there, I used to ask myself where all the shit I flushed down the toilet used to end up going. Now I know!

[Scarlett]

Disgusting witch... hope you're gone for good. Don't need you, don't want you - feel extremely sorry for your husband and/or anyone who has to deal with you!

[m. w. n.]

I live in this GOD-FORSAKEN STATE, and I hate it!!! Can`t get out (except on vacation) which I look forward to every year! Was born here, and will probably die here, but almost everything you`ve heard about this state is true, terrible(humid)weather, dumd ass people,low wages...etc. BEEM ME OUT SCOTTY...

[hanson]

Mississippi has without a doubt, the dumbest, and the most rude people I have ever met in my life, and I have traveled all over the world. As to why anyone would want to live here I have no idea. The funny part is that the people from MS have no idea how bad their state really does suck.
Lastly, MS gets a ton of welfare money from the Government, but its mostly wasted. Everyone down here is on "disability", section eight, etc. Also, there appears to be a lot of racisim and perhaps inbreeding. Avoid it at all costs. TN and FL or much better.

[The Real Thing]

I found this repugnant site purely by accident, but I have only one thing to say for the uneducated, ignorant "people" who have previously posted on here. Go back wherever you came from. Mississippians are the most gracious, kind and mannerly people you will find ANYWHERE! I pity the fools who don't know any better. MS (not that hard if you went to any kind of school) has more musicians, authors and sports stars than ANY state. Ever heard of Brett Farve? Walter Payton? Jerry Rice? Any of the Mannings? How 'bout William Faulkner, Eudora Welty or Willie Morris? Maybe BB King? Elvis Presley? NO? I've got one little joke to leave with you: Do you know why Yankees are like hemorrhoids? If they come down and go back up, they're not so bad. If they come down and stay, they're a real pain in the ass! Go home - we don't need you!

[cool]

Yes, this is the most pathetic place I have ever been. The people are so stupid too.

[mash me]

I live in MS. and I can say without reservation it SUCKS!!!

[NoReally]

Oh my gosh, I totally understand the drive through horror of trying to get fast food in this state that Jake described. And yeah, those of us from "yankee cities" do complain, because it is terrible in Mississippi. And no amount of traveling to a different part of Mississippi will change that. I've been all over this state, from North to South, and Mississippians are the most miserable people I've ever met.

[Jake Dammit]

Yes. Mississippi sucks. I'm stuck in Columbus and I've found that southern hospitality stops at the border of this state. Go to Wal-Mart.. People are too fat, lazy, dumb, or in a hurry to light their cigarettes to realize they should push their shopping carts back instead of leaving them sit in the middle of the parking lot. Go to Wendy's... Drive up... "ur order?" says the speaker... First: PUSH THE DAMN MIC BUTTON BEFORE YOU TALK... Second: GREET ME.. So I order... "drive around"... First: read back and verify my order.. Second: Which fucking window, bitch?.. So I drive around.. Get my food... I SAY THANKS... Turn my head to receive the reply: A window slamming shut in my face..

I understand there's no outdoor recreation, there's no lakes or rivers worth seeing or mountains or beaches here... The people are all rude.. The population is very segregated (by income, race, everything... and they all seem to hate Air Force members..)

I've met some ladies here being a single guy.. They all say they like to "go out". What the hell is "going out"? Is that really some sort of activity? Is that a hobby? No. I learned "going out" is going to some smoke filled dive bar and sitting on your butt and listening to bad music and drinking beer. I could have done THAT in my living room. No thanks.

I got a Jeep. Nobody knows good trails.

I ride long rides on my bike (yes I raced bicycles last year and I still enjoy the sport when I can..) I get honked at.. No races to enter.. No popular places where cyclists can go.. No riding clubs..

I like to wakeboard and ski.. The water in Tom-Bigbee is flamable..

I like to hike.. But not in the hood..

There is nothing here for me and I can't wait to get out...

[susan]

please tell me what part of Mississippi you are talking about??

[Truth]

Alex, Sir you have the typical Ms.Mentality.When people say Mississippi sucks they are not just picking at the state for the hell of it, they say this because it is true!I have been up one end and down the other many times and cane tell you this state offers two kinds of people,Thugs and rednecks.You mention cities like "Jackson" reminds me of Compton, Ca. or a third world country in Africa.Then you have all your Baptist& Methodist etc.You know the ones that do nothing other than talk shit behind others backs in the name of Jesus.Then you use the term "Yankee" That is just as typical as any other Ms. redneck I also bet you still talk about the Civil war? Sir, you also say North Mississippi is up to date are you smoking crack? I just passed a KKK meeting in an open field recently guess what they were burning a cross!the same symbol Jesus was nailed to.Moving to this dump was the biggest mistake of my life!

[Alex Samuelson]

I live in Jackson County MS on the coast. I have traveled all over the country and have found very few places that suck more than here. Rednecks and racists are abundant. We have thousands of phony Christians who hate everyone that doesn't belong to their church. Then there's the aweful humidity, the bugs and the aligators. Not to mention Hurricane Katrina. I could go on, but what's the point. Iam stuck here for until at least May. So I'll just have to make the best of it.

[Bumblefuck]

Yes, you live in the middle of fucking nowhere. I take it from the swift glance of your blog that your job has some connection with Mississippi State. If you must drive through Reform, you're on Highway 15, and I'm guessing you live in either Louisville or Ackerman. I'm from MS (yes, I know the abbreviation) and I went to school at MSU, but my hometown is nowhere near that area. You say Mississippi sucks but you really are in the worst part of the state. Your blog should be called "Why This Area of Mississippi Sucks." Every state has its good parts and bad parts. You just happen to live in the bad part. I suggest you explore the state a little more. Jackson and it's suburbs offer more of the east-coast jive that you crave (though I gather all you really want is somewhere to shop), and north MS is pretty "up-to-date," as is the coast (pre-Katrina). I love it when people come from big yankee cities to MS and complain about how much it sucks.

[Hill]

It's like you have a guitar (pronounced GIT-tar) and I a harmonica as we sing the MS blues.

(Oh, and it took me almost a year to remember that fucking abbreviation. I don't blame people for not knowing it - Who gives a shit?!?!?!)

Great post, though. Ahhh, the memories.