This has become a regular occurrence in my house these days. Well, I lied - it's not that regular - but 1-2x a month is enough for me. Here's what happens.
My husband decides he needs to go out, either to get dessert, some drinks (to bring HOME), or just to hit the bar to "see what's going on" at around 8-9pm on a Saturday night. All of these are fine with me - but most of the time, he doesn't mention that he's going to stop by the bar (except for the latter one, of course). Note the operative word "STOP BY." Sometimes, he doesn't even say he's going to stop. So, in my mind - in both cases, he shouldn't be gone long, right?
WRONG. Shit, it's so annoying. He goes out to get dessert and comes home 3 hours later. I call him and that's his cue to leave. I haven't done it yet tonight because I'm just so annoyed. I'll wait until I'm truly pissed to call. Tonight he said he wasn't going to stop by. "I guess I won't stop at Zachary's" he says, in a passive aggressive sigh (you know which one that is, right) on his way out the door.
For me, STOPPING is like - maybe for one drink, right? You STOP in and then you leave. BUT no - just like "a couple of minutes" means about 30, STOPPING means a minimum of 3 hours.
Even more annoying is when he goes out and then stays out until 3am. I mean, do you really need to go out from 10-3am - especially when your wife (who, shall I add NEVER EVER EVER goes out to the bar for even ONE minute, let alone a WHOLE night) is sitting at home, playing babysitter, wondering where the hell you are. Oh, yes, this is the wife who spent 2 hours in a room trying to get an overtired daughter to take a nap today - oh, and the wife who sits or sometimes sleeps in a ROCKING chair for 2-3 hours every night so the daughter won't scream her bloody head off and keep us all awake.
I'm SO not a bitchy wife - all I ask is the following: 1) Call me if you decide to stop by or even better, ask, "is it okay if I hang out at the bar for an hour or so?" and then REALLY only stay for that long, 2) If you go out, can you come home at a reasonable hour - like perhaps 1am or something, as opposed to 3am?? Is it so hard to do? and 3) Don't say you are not going to go and then go.
The sad part is that I'll hear this when I get home: "Well, you got to go out shopping today" ahem - yep, for 2 hours, in separate times, once while she was sleeping. How does that equal you going out to the bars and whooping it up? I hate the double standards and I hate feeling like I shouldn't be mad because he doesn't get to go out or something - but why don't you just schedule it and say "I really want to go out tonight and hang out with the guys, is that okay?" as opposed to: "I need some pie - I'll be back in a minute."
What sucks the most (well most of it sucks, but this really gets me) is that I will, at least not for awhile, be able to do this. I mean, what ladies that I know are going to be chillin' at the bar for me "just stop by" and see? When will he just get to sit around and watch the freaking "Truman Show" while I go out and "BS with some of my friends." UM - NEVER...
Oh wait, I thought of something suckier. I'll try to explain why I'm annoyed, and I'll end up looking like the "bad wife." Seriously, I don't give a BIG FAT SHIT if you go out and chill, but why do you have to say you are going for a dessert and that you are NOT going to stop by, when you know FULL WELL that you are going to? If he was like, hey, I'm going out to the bar, I'll be home around 12. FINE - but he won't say that and he wouldn't be able to leave at 12 if he did - he'd be home at 2-3am.
Off I go to make the call. Check comments for the transcript - it won't be a long conversation.
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