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17 posts from December 2005

December 21, 2005

I Knit, Therefore I Am

Yup, I knit. Can you believe it? I am a closet crafty - and hell, I can follow directions. Plus, all those years of violin and guitar have afforded me excellent fine motor skills. So, I decided instead of sitting on my ass watching tv at night, I would sit on my ass AND knit.

The amazing thing is that EVERYONE knits. Cripes, there are tons of free patterns online, knitting blogs galore, and oh the YARNS. And, the crazy thing is, it's NOT THAT HARD folks. Hey, if I can make mittens for my daughter (okay, so they are thumbless - thumbs are HARD... :), then YOU can make a scarf.

I have a few pics of completed projects (that seems to be what people do on their knitting blogs) as well as things in the works. I didn't get pics of all my 10,000 scarfs made since September when I learned, but perhaps a few scarf recipients will share their thoughts and comments on the lovelies - or even better, share pics of them with THEM on. Is that asking too much?

I have yet to start on my first sweater for Q using Rowan Big Wool. Should be fun!

Poncho for Q (with matching hat - see my Photo Album) made from Filatura di Crosa BONBON (aka PIA to knit). Easy pattern - just 2 rectangles in garter stich sew together - use size 8s

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Mittens for Q made from Berroco Suede. Easy because they don't have thumbs - on 8s and 6s.

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Purse for me or Q made from Berroco Tutu or similar. VERY easy - just buy the bag handles. The pattern is free (see my link). I did this on 17s, but I recommend 15s. I have yet to make the lining, or the matching scarf (which is SOOOOO easy).

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And finally, on the needles is a lace pattern scarf (k1, *yo, k2t - repeat until the end, then k1; next row do the same but with p) -- Use an even number cast on... using Rowan Biggy Print #246 Razzle Dazzle on 35s (aka BIGASS needles).

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Shameless Promotion

Okay, so I have to give a shout out to my friend Jeanette. Jeanette took all those fabulous pics on our Christmas "magnets" (well, and she made the magnets too), and if any of you have seen my Quinlan purse, then THIS is the photographer. If you are in the ATL, or know of anyone looking for someone to do fabulous shots of a family member, YOU, or your PET, then please look my friend up - she rocks.

Check out her work of my daughter:

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December 20, 2005

10 Random Things That are NEVER okay...

I just saw a guy with HAIRY ass ears on TV and I thought, that is just NEVER okay... Then I was on my favorite baby message board and NO ONE except ONE person thought kid leashes were bad. Give me a break...

So, humor me - as I know that somewhere, someone finds one or all of these things perfectly FINE, but I, however tend to differ. I have no one to TAG - except poor HILS, so I'm just going to encourage my loyal readers to add to the list - as I know I will be doing so as well. And, let me add, these are small little things, not BIG world issues like crime, child abuse, etc. THOSE are give-ins...

In no particular order...

1) Hairy ears. On men or women :)

2) Kid leashes. I just don't understand them. Maybe it's because I walk dogs ON LEASHES.

3) Long scraggly hair on men - especially balding men. I'm all for the "I'mgoingbaldsoIshavemyhead" look. Very sexy.

4) The dollar dance at weddings. UGH. I don't care if they guise it as the bride being kidnapped OR if you get to kiss her or throw back a shot. It's shameless and wrong. I kind of feel this way about the garter tradition too, but I'll leave it alone for now.

5) Tapered, pleated pants (or either one on their own...) Just bad. Let me add Stir-up pants - way badder...

6) Scrunchies. Manes (aka banana clips). Use a hair band for god sakes.

7) Anything from the 80s worn NOW - aka belts that wrap around twice, lace fingerless gloves, legwarmers, and cut off sweatshirts (aka "Flashdance Fabulous). I'll bless you with the 12 80s Days of Christmas later...

8) Cooked liver as a meal. Ew.

9) Facial hair on a woman. Sorry, the errant 60 year old lady hairs or the thick mustache is not right. WAX is your friend - buy some tweezers and have at it. Yes, we do notice. (Speaking of which, where are MY tweezers??)

10) Rotting teeth.

December 17, 2005

When Did This Become Okay?

This has become a regular occurrence in my house these days. Well, I lied - it's not that regular - but 1-2x a month is enough for me. Here's what happens.

My husband decides he needs to go out, either to get dessert, some drinks (to bring HOME), or just to hit the bar to "see what's going on" at around 8-9pm on a Saturday night. All of these are fine with me - but most of the time, he doesn't mention that he's going to stop by the bar (except for the latter one, of course). Note the operative word "STOP BY." Sometimes, he doesn't even say he's going to stop. So, in my mind - in both cases, he shouldn't be gone long, right?

WRONG. Shit, it's so annoying. He goes out to get dessert and comes home 3 hours later. I call him and that's his cue to leave. I haven't done it yet tonight because I'm just so annoyed. I'll wait until I'm truly pissed to call. Tonight he said he wasn't going to stop by. "I guess I won't stop at Zachary's" he says, in a passive aggressive sigh (you know which one that is, right) on his way out the door.

For me, STOPPING is like - maybe for one drink, right? You STOP in and then you leave. BUT no - just like "a couple of minutes" means about 30, STOPPING means a minimum of 3 hours.

Even more annoying is when he goes out and then stays out until 3am. I mean, do you really need to go out from 10-3am - especially when your wife (who, shall I add NEVER EVER EVER goes out to the bar for even ONE minute, let alone a WHOLE night) is sitting at home, playing babysitter, wondering where the hell you are. Oh, yes, this is the wife who spent 2 hours in a room trying to get an overtired daughter to take a nap today - oh, and the wife who sits or sometimes sleeps in a ROCKING chair for 2-3 hours every night so the daughter won't scream her bloody head off and keep us all awake.

I'm SO not a bitchy wife - all I ask is the following: 1) Call me if you decide to stop by or even better, ask, "is it okay if I hang out at the bar for an hour or so?" and then REALLY only stay for that long, 2) If you go out, can you come home at a reasonable hour - like perhaps 1am or something, as opposed to 3am?? Is it so hard to do? and 3) Don't say you are not going to go and then go.

The sad part is that I'll hear this when I get home: "Well, you got to go out shopping today" ahem - yep, for 2 hours, in separate times, once while she was sleeping. How does that equal you going out to the bars and whooping it up? I hate the double standards and I hate feeling like I shouldn't be mad because he doesn't get to go out or something - but why don't you just schedule it and say "I really want to go out tonight and hang out with the guys, is that okay?" as opposed to: "I need some pie - I'll be back in a minute."

What sucks the most (well most of it sucks, but this really gets me) is that I will, at least not for awhile, be able to do this. I mean, what ladies that I know are going to be chillin' at the bar for me "just stop by" and see? When will he just get to sit around and watch the freaking "Truman Show" while I go out and "BS with some of my friends." UM - NEVER...

Oh wait, I thought of something suckier. I'll try to explain why I'm annoyed, and I'll end up looking like the "bad wife." Seriously, I don't give a BIG FAT SHIT if you go out and chill, but why do you have to say you are going for a dessert and that you are NOT going to stop by, when you know FULL WELL that you are going to? If he was like, hey, I'm going out to the bar, I'll be home around 12. FINE - but he won't say that and he wouldn't be able to leave at 12 if he did - he'd be home at 2-3am.

Off I go to make the call. Check comments for the transcript - it won't be a long conversation.

Double Standards, Part One

I got the whole notion for this blog after watching the King Kong trailer. You see Kong jumping around and then it cuts to Adrien Brody and Naomi Watts sharing a passionate kiss. 2005_king_kong_015 I quickly change the channel and roll my eyes in disgust. Why you ask? Well, let's just say I truly believe the ONLY in this Male-Dominated Society would we see images like that.
C'mon, I know Adrien is a great actor - but let's examine him a bit more closely. I mean, he is seriously one of the ugliest dudes (aside from Ric Ocasek)Ocasek_ric  I've seen in a long time. Granted, he makes WAY more money than I do - but still, it's entirely unbelievable that he would be making out with Naomi Watts - regardless of his penis size.
I know it's a movie - but let's look at real life... You've got Paulina Porizikova and Ric Ocasek, Iman and David Bowie, Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson - if you need more. Watch VH-1. They did a WHOLE show on it.
I'm so sick of hearing how women are attracted to "personality" as opposed to looks - whereas men - the hunter/gatherers *barf* are more attracted to looks - you know the big boobies, thin waist, wide hips for good reproduction crap.
I have NEVER been attracted to an ugly man - I would say that overall, the men I've dated have been reasonably attractive - meaning, I'm not the only one that found them attractive. I'm not trying to brag here, but I'm saying that some, more than others, have been lookers. Granted, I'm not as picky about the pecks and biceps (though they are a plus) - but physical attractiveness is key!
Based on my experience, I cannot explain the phenomenon in Hollywood - I mean, I can see ugly famous guys getting laid by groupies - or women swooning for a guy with a sexy voice - but seriously, I refuse to believe that truly overrides appearance.
And, on the flip side, when do you see an ugly girl with a hot guy - in Hollywood or anywhere for that matter. I thought of ONE movie - "Circle of Friends" with a fat Minnie Driver (which is hilarious when they try to make "hot" girls ugly - they never are really ugly...) - oh, and Hugh Jackman and his wife (hello, what is going on there?) Hugh But, in a way, it's nice to see. A reasonably hot guy with a regular gal. Who would have thunk it?