Motherhood Uncensored

"MaMa" Finally...

Two nights ago, at 3am, I finally heard those wonderful words from my daughter - MAMA. Let me preface this by saying that my dear husband, fondly known as "DA-DAW" around here, has been enjoying his name on a daily basis. If he enters a room, comes home for work, or even if he is seen in a picture, there it is - "DA-DAW." Even my Father-in-Law, who we see 2x a year, got Pop-Pop!

Until two nights ago, if you asked her, she would say MAMA, but that's about it. Well, that has all changed. While I have heard it upon entering a room, and when my picture flashes across the computer screen (we are a bit obsessed with watching family pic slide shows these days), but mainly, I hear it at oh, 3am when we want out of our crib. Usually it's a blood curdling scream. Nothing sweet about it. It's certainly effective - because no self-serving human could listen to it and not rescue whoever was screaming it.

And that's about it.

The Thanksgiving Diet

In honor of today, I have decided to share my secret to my 5-month 70lb weight loss. The name comes from the central foods in this diet - TURKEY, CRANBERRY, and POTATOES. I can't take credit for the IDEA, however, as it's based on Dr. Sears' Total Elimination Diet, the crazy, yet effective means to eliminate colic and gas, as well as determine food allergies and sensitivities in a breastfeeding baby. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/4/T041200.asp

Not surprising to me, doing the TED (as it's fondly called by those on it) is actually better than switching to formula, although the mother makes the ultimate sacrifice. Basically, you eat the least allergenic foods to clear out the baby's symptoms and then slowly add things back in, all the while watching for a reaction (for my dear daughter, it was green poop, reflux, and gas...). The last items added back in are the BIG 7 - wheat, soy, dairy, tree nuts, peanuts, corn, and eggs.

Now, if I were living in a cultural mecca, eating in this manner would be painful, but made less so with the presence of a WHOLE FOODS MARKET. BUT, trying to find "allergen" free foods in Columbus, MS is nearly impossible. AND, my daughter happened to react to everything ON the damn diet, so I was left with my own version, fondly coined by my good friend TMT as "The Thanksgiving Diet."

My main staple diet included the following: Cranberries, sugar <--pure cane, potatoes (regular and sweet), turkey, grapes, spinach, water, organic grape juice, and perrier. Oh, and LOTS of olive oil - lots.

Later I was able to add in the rice products, garlic, green beans <-- oh heavenly, and chicken.

Diet Benefits: Rapid weightloss in a reasonably safe manner; eat in LARGE quantities (okay, so it's the same 5 things, but still, eat, eat, and eat); no worrying about what to cook for yourself for breakfast, lunch, or dinner; you learn about all the crap that is in the food we eat; you rid yourself of ALL toxins - don't get sick - and could possibly shrink a cyst on your back (a small thing I had on my back totally disappeared...); it's reasonably inexpensive, unless you do the lamb thing; other than being a bit gaunt IMO, your skin will look great! Oh, and absolutely NO exercise is involved.

Diet Pitfalls: You eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (for the most part); you can eat NOTHING processed; you can't eat out; you crave everything GOOD; you have to make meals for you and your family; you get a modified eating disorder when it's all over; you cry at least 2-3x a week in self-pity.

Diet Plan WITH RICE:

First, let me thank the food gods who created EVERYTHING out of rice. Pasta, ice cream, milk, cereal, bread... you name it, they've made it. Let me remind you that for 2 months, I could eat NO rice - it's a sad day when you pray for the ability to eat rice milk.

Breakfast: Rice milk, rice puffs with craisins; Hot rice cereal with rice milk and craisins. (eat at least 2-3 bowls of each)

Snack: Craisins, potatoes, Cranberry sauce, turkey patties, rice crackers

Lunch: Ground turkey, potatoes, spinach, rice noodles or rice- fry in pan with olive oil. Top with cranberry sauce. (eat at least 2-3 servings).

Snack: See above

Dinner: See lunch. For variety, make turkey patties or safe turkey sausage (safe being NO allergens AT ALL). Or, turkey breast cutlets or a whole "Thanksgivingesque" turkey breast.

Drinks: Water, Organic grape juice (add some perrier for a special treat).

And, there you have it. For almost a year, I did it. For two months, I could not eat rice products, therefore eliminating breakfast. It's really tough eating the same meal 3x a day. BUT, I survived and on my daughter's first birthday, something healed over in her tummy (it actually happens to all babes - not just mine) and she is fine. It was hard - but it was worth it.

Motherhood does that to you. Makes you do things you think you never could (or would). Anyone who knows me knows this: I LOVE FOOD. I LOVE TO EAT.

Be prepared for at least 2-3 weeks of total gorging post diet, in which you could potentially gain ALL your weight back.

So, on this day of Thanks, gorge yourselves my friends, as you know I will be doing so. AND, surprisingly enough, I can still eat turkey, cranberry, and potatoes, even after eating it 3x a day for 200 + days.