There’s a dark green carpet in my new family room that is already my nemesis. I suppose any color carpet and four kids is a terrible combination, like beer and tequila and that one night at the dance club 15 years ago. I have yet to crack the code of the thermostat, which thankfully was […]

Free birth control aka my trip to Wegman’s and Sports Authority last night

Last night I decided it might be fun to go out to dinner at Wegman’s, followed by Sports Authority and then Home Depot, which is not something out of the ordinary for people with no children, but generally not for people with children, let alone had FOUR OF THEM. Maybe it’s the cheese steaks and […]


The whole “18 Summers” thing has completely wrecked my parenting. You know, the “you’ve only got them for this long until they leave the nest and you’re miserable so get off your fucking phone and play with them DAMNIT” thing. I can’t be the only one who thinks that whenever anyone says something like that. […]